.: WINTER || SUMMER *___ ]]

Stumpled upon...

2011-05-24T00:14:00.002+08:00

Whoops. well, hey.. issn't it my own blog??

Oh my.. how rude of me, this has been around for like.. err donkey years, through the highs and lows of my life. like a reflection of myself when i was still so naive and innocent

Time goes by and soon we will find that not everything is good to share. I shall be the one who only takes. But hey, I'm not saying im closing this down, just that it will be monitored and filtered till suitable for the audiences, if theres any.

But some may ask (includin myself), then whats the purpose of having a web blog if you'r not gona be straight about the truth and hide and cover up things.

Well, sometimes "information" is far more important than anything u can imagine.

There is a question, which until now, I have yet to have a definite answer:
In school when doing a project/test/quiz, there is a question which only you know the answer to it, any most of your friends are scratching their heads to the answer. Will you help with your friends to complete the question, which means you will lose out a definite chance to get a better grade than anyone else in class, which may contribute to greater things to come. Will you share the answer and blame yourself later on when you are unable to get a better academic standing in the whole level? or will you keep this precious answer to yourself and your result tell the whole level that you are better than all of them, but later on faced with prejudice of being selfish?

Though the politically correct answer would be the former, but my inner self keep telling me to go with the latter, kinda caught in this dilemma for years. Which one will you choose then?

Well, that's that. I shall find some other chances to "stumple upon" here again and drop a post.

Thank you for those who are here all this time.

my kind of girl..

2010-06-29T22:24:00.002+08:00

if you a guy- post this as my kind of girl..
if your a girl- post it as my kind of boy..

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
hmmm.. first thing to notice of cos is the looks.

2. Smart?
ok.. but not retarded. =D

3. Preferred age?
no pref.. plus minus 5 yrs still ok

4. Preferred height?
hmm.. about 170 is ok

5. How about sense of humor?
Yup wup.. smiles.. =D

6. How about piercings?
ok but dun over do it

7. Accepts you for who you are?
YUP!

8. Pink hair?
hmmm.. some highlights and it looks gd is ok. =)

9. Mushy or no?
err.. sometimes can le la..

10. Thin or fat?
acceptable weight

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
Brown

12. Long hair or short hair?
long and straight =)

13. Plastic or metal?
huh?

14. Smells good?
If you really love someone, you'll find everything of him is good. yeah. i will remember the scent

15. Smoker?
no way

16. Drinker?
social drinking ok. with me better still. =D

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
haha.. not bad lor.. guai guai type.

18. Muscular?
siao...

19. Plays piano?
ahh... i like..

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
i play la.. den can accompany the piano

21. Plays violin?
not bad.. can learn together

22. Sings very good?
at least if she sing i wunt cover my ears can le.. haha

23. Vain?
no.. slap her to wake up den she noe..

24. With glasses?
ok but prefer con

25. With braces?
Nope.

26. Shy type?
okok lo.. cos i also shy shy type

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
sometimes of both

28. Active or passive?
Active.

29. Tight or bomb?
huh?

30. Singer or dancer?
singer then dancer

31. Stunner?
no thans.. no stuns.. later i heart attack..

32. Hiphop?
nono.. cannot..

33. Earrings?
yeah!

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
dun wan.. den i lose

35. Dimples?
Okay =D

36. Bookworm?
not until eat the book

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
OK

38. Playful?
of cos gd..

39. Flirt?
hmmm.. not too much ba..

40. Poem writer?
ok ah.. y not?

41. Serious?
not all the time

42. Campus crush?
if i can get a campus crush den of cos gd. but th grass is alwaz greener on the other side.. =D

43. Painter?
erm.. no time no space to paint with her.. lol

44. Religious?
doesnt matter.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
okok ah.. not too much.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
haha.. weirdo..

47. Speaks 20 languages?
gd ah.. can go teach foreigh language nxt time

48. Loyal or faithful?
Loyal & fatihful

49. Good kisser?
not bad.. haha.. yummy

50. Loves children?
gd lor.. nxt time can take care of kids.. lolx

Looking Forward

2010-06-24T00:29:00.001+08:00

When one door closes,

another opens.

But we so often

look so long and so regretfully

upon the closed door,

that we do not see the ones

which opened for us.

Happiness is something

that comes into our lives

through doors we don't

even remember opening.

Thoughts

2010-06-23T02:46:00.000+08:00

Hello 2:45am

Been stayed up till now for nothing. was trying to clear some thoughts, but in the end was thinking of even more things. blah blah here n blah blah there.

Anyways, sometimes i do need to question myself, what is it that i really want, had a quick chat with "M" just now, and i found myself stuck with alot of unanswered questions. So how can i solve it?

Business first, had a browse on the net and i think that it was really amazing of how ppl can really make a business from this imaginary cloud which physically does not exist. and yet ppl are investing tens of thousands of dollars and pounds into it. just how can we catch even a glimpse of this stream of wealth? i wonder.

just feel that wad i really have is actually not enough. not qualify yet to do so. just like playing RPG games. If your character has not gain enough experience yet, u cant kill the monster, which in turn cannot clear the stage and move on to the next, and eventually cannot complete the game. so i must have the right tool and opponent to defeat first in order to gain experience.

so first, i will need to have some training target boards. Target 1, colleague "K", which i would take her as my bench mark, althou she's just 2 yrs older then me, but yet she is already making gd money, 3 times of mine maybe, shit, this is 1 gd task for me to accomplish. how can i get to this point in 2 yrs time? i need strategies. ever play games using cheat codes? hopefully it does exists in real life.

Been looking into alot of different aspects and searching for ideas. Explore possibilities and future impossibilities to overcome. market trend, public behaviour, response, damn, its killing me. i will need to consult some experties and gather information. which is one of the most important things out of the 3: INFORMATION, COMMUNICATION and TECHNOLOGY. these will be the 3 main arseh*les who will run the show for the coming decade.

with critical INFORMATION, you controls the flow. you will noe everything u need to noe to manupulate the market.

with timely COMMUNICATION, you will be able to receive these critical information first hand, making u the biggest player in this game of life.

with cutting edge TECHNOLOGY, u will be able to break thru all the "HOW-TO" barriers and achieve the aboves.

with all 3 utilized precisely, u can play god.

Damn n love/hate it all. If it was said that money is the root to all evils, so all these will be the assistants, catalyst and developers to this evil.

Being the youngest in the company, it put me into an advantagous state that i will have a longer play time to explore all these possibilities. but damn, i will need to cut on my gaming session from now on. damn. Discipline, boy. it shall be and always will be the first and the most important rule to remember by heart if i need to accomplish this. Never take LUCK as your ABILITY.

Target 2, friend "M", with just a simple mindset, how she is able to sustain n expand it all into a well growing business, using all precious time and determination. damn, was it she who realised it early? or was it me who realise it late? but by any chance, hope that i will be able to succeed as well just like she did.

talking about it, have you ever ask yourself, what is the most expensive thing on earth which can be bought with money? House? car? private jet? no.. is TIME. imagine, how much your company will spend to buy 1 hour from your? and in turn, how much will your company spend to buy 1 hour from your boss?

think deeper, how can we multiply all this values or even increase it exponentially? if anyone ever find any possibilities, dont be afriad to try. it is human tendency to be afraid of things, afraid of getting hurt, and with this fear in mind, they are unable to go further, higher, and so they will be stuck on the ground forever if they nv overcome this dear fear inside.

in olden days: Nothing is Impossible.
nowadays: Impossible is Nothing

in this tipsy-dipsy world, sometimes u need to go down in order to go up. the more u wanna go up, the lower u will go. These are all just part of the mental preparation of what is going to happen next. once we get this right, we can move on to the next part. action speaks louder than a thousand words, remember, results counts. once we can get a positive result, we can den talk about how to multiply it. If you treat it as a hobby, you will get hobby results. If you treat it as a business, you will get business results. it all run down to the first rule: Discipline.

target 3, friend "S". with a strong willed mindset, beautifully executed what is called Impossible is Nothing, and broke free of old traditions and became a leader. if he had not show me this light, i would still be living in the dark ages. where we will still be working like donkeys for the bosses and living from pay check to pay check. not only mental preparation, we will need to believe in this spiritually as well. just like Neo taking the red pill from Morpheus (The Matrix), because he knows, he'd seen, and most importantly, he believes. Seeing is believing? think again, believe and you will see. Hey, dun take all this movie or game examples as a joke ok. i nv did take it as just another movie or show. everything exsist for a purpose, theres a reason for every action. We just wanna understand deeper of what is the mindset of everyone down the line, right from the actors to the director to the script writer. once you understand, you will be able to see the connections in everything.

oops.. time to get some rest before another hectic day. shall continue another time.

goodbye 3:45am

Revived!!

2010-06-22T14:39:00.002+08:00

ok. so after 2 yrs or so, finally I think is time to re-run this blog. pardon me my english as it has been a long time since I last wrote.

So the first thing I need to do right now is to revamp this holy sh*t blogskin. oh my, I saw spiders crawling in it. Anyways, think i will just look for any available skins and grab 1 first, till I have the time to remake another 1 then we will talk about it again.

Right, now we need to set things right first. With the right mindset and right attitude, hopfully this blog can just be the right place for all the rightful viewers who wish to find some right things just at the right moment, right?

In the upcoming posts, I will point out anything that I might come across which I find it is useful to share with everyone. (Hopefully there will be readers....). which of cos if there are dedicated readers good enough to give feed backs or idea are also welcome.

Thank you for reading...
Welcome to my life.

5 more days to be freed

2008-05-26T19:25:00.002+08:00

ahh.. juz 5 more days.. and i will be free again.. =D
hang in there..

20

2008-05-11T08:32:00.001+08:00

yet once again..
20 more days to go..
wad a waste of time...
suck thumb..

5 days

2008-02-08T16:31:00.000+08:00

gong xi gong xi gong xi wo ah

sian ah

5 more days

wad a waste of time..

when i could be out there enjoying

wad a new year to have...

=(

Modern POW

2008-02-03T13:50:00.000+08:00

wah lao eh!!!

21 days RCP!!!

WTHHHHH~!!!!

NOOOOOOO~!!!!

Chinese New Year~!!!

3 MORE DAYS~!!!!!

and then 1 more week!!!

worse then POW ah~!!!

17 days

2007-12-03T08:09:00.000+08:00

17 more days to go!!
block leave!!!
ahhhh!!

okok.. lets see where are the places to go / things to do during block leave~
--------------------------------------------

1. Sentosa beach!
2. East Coast cycling? sunrise/sunset?
3. Ubin camping?? lolx...
4. Chalet
5. Kbox + pool + movie + arcade + slack
6. Shopping
7. Class gathering
8. Driving lesson ah~
9. University recce / CCNA
10. Hong Kong? (Taiwan?? hmm.. guess not at this moment ba.. )
11. Visit labrador park?! (LOLx.. explore explore.. )

12. Library???? (lolx.. duno how i come up with that thot also)

13. TP ( ohhh.. wanna go back to see see look look and makan the food there )

14. Airport ( haha.. i wanna see see the new airport leh.. like not bad leh.. hehe..

1 more month to go!

2007-11-27T10:54:00.001+08:00

wooo... jiayou jiayou.. juz less den one month to go le.. till end of service term.. haha.. so fast 2 months had past le.. still surviving.. althou sometimes feel like dying and giving up.. haha.. but i wunt die so easily de la.. haha.. soon will noe our posting le.. maybe 3 more weeks.. hmm... coming up next.. platoon field camp.. -.-.. zzz ... gonna die sia.. haha.. take care everyone!

rainbow

2007-11-09T21:21:00.000+08:00

rainbow after the rain..
sun is shining bright..
for sure there will be another rain ahead..
i'll close my eyes..
take a deep breath..
and pull myself thru it..

..together with u..

=)

emo?

2007-11-08T16:32:00.001+08:00

haiz... emo-ing... so sick and tired of this shyt.. =( .. been nv really happy since the start of it.. not a single bit.. not looking forward to it.. juz nothing to be happy about.. but i dun wanna disappoint alot of ppl.. stress is piling up on me.. sometimes i juz broke down.. wad can i do? .. suck thumb lor.. HELP! ='(

?

2007-10-28T00:50:00.000+08:00

THE PAST. (lets see ifyou can get through it. if not, you'retoo scared about your past)-

Longes t relationship:- 3 months and counting~

Shortest relationship:- 3 days???.-

Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were dating?:- y not?.-

Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?- yea.-

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?- erm.. think so..-

Are you happier single or in a relationship?- different types of happiness in each.-

Have you ever been cheated on?- yea.-

What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?- character..-

Hav e you ever had your heartbroken?- of cos.-

Have you ever broken someone's heart?- yup-

If you could go back in time would you change things to where you could still be with one of your exs?- hmm.. maybe not..-

Think any of your ex's feel the same way?- guess so.-

Have you dated people who were not good to you?- erm.. only after dated den i found out.. =x.-

Have you dated someone older then you?- yup.-

Do you believe everyone deservesanother chance?- depends.-

Believe in love at first sight?- haha.. not really..-

Ever dated two people at once?- no ba..-

Do you want to get married?- maybe?.-

Do you have something to say to any of your exs?- thanks for everything.-

Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?- not really.....-

Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?- err... yea.-

Does heartbreak really feel as bad asit sounds?- yes

=D

2007-09-23T21:35:00.000+08:00

OCS HERE I COME!!

ironic

2007-08-12T15:39:00.000+08:00

yawnz~

muahaha... happiez.. juz about to finish my extra long weekend off.. =) ... really spent it meaningfully.. haha.. got to spend time with her almost everyday.. yeah!.. heh.. went seoul garden.. den stun my friends.. and so gd friend of them to juz dump us there ah.. haha.. den i drop my hp in the taxi.. AGAIN... ahhhh!!! ... lucky got her to pick it up for me.. if not den really jialat le.. =) .. so fun to ton the night out wif her to hav a drink and chit chat till the sun comes out.. hehe..

how ironic can things be.. 12 yrs of friendship.. yet this is how it turns out to be.. heh.. oh well.. =)

our story

2007-08-05T03:32:00.000+08:00

let this mark the beginning of our story..

let me hav the strength and courage to trust again..

let us share every single moment possible together..

let there be not a day when we hav to say farewell..

lets hope..

lets pray..

we'll be together for as long as possible..

let me say..

i love u

miss

2007-07-15T18:48:00.001+08:00

getting more sticky by the days.. =)

looking forward to each n every book out..

M I S S E D ~ !

2nd book out

2007-07-08T02:11:00.000+08:00

yet.. another week has past.. time flies when u r looking forward to each book out.. and soon will be looking for POP (Pass Out Parade).. and soon will be ORD(Operational Ready Date) le.. 2 yrs is not really such a long time after all..

life in camp.. hmm.. shld say is juz everyday doing the same thing over and over again ba.. coz now is still under PTP (Physical Training Phase).. they will juz train n train n train.. till BMT (Basic Military Training) starts den is where the fun kicks in.. come to think of it.. i already stayed for 3 weeks in the camp le.. and already alot of things happened le.. alot of conflicts between different sessions and platoons.. theres an incident whereby ppl from other ppl disturb ppl from out platoon.. and nearly kanna confinement.. but coz is the first offence.. tts why the army lighten their punishment.. i dun mind giving them a 2nd chance too la.. but juz that the tension between we 2 platoons became abit weird.. and i still think that my session is the best.. haha.. section 3 rocks!

hmm.. booked out.. yay!! .. happies!.. really really damn happy.. haha.. why? coz i finally can get to meet someone after so so so so so sooooo long.. hehe.. omg.. so happie to see her.. i think hav been like.. hmm.. about 2 to 3 years since we last met le.. hehe.. omg omg.. even book out tired and shag i oso dun care liao la.. fast fast go pack my things den go out le.. haha.. but sadly i still got cough.. cant talk much also.. think she also start to hav abit cough le.. sorry sorry.. =x .. but still very happy to see her.. haha.. hmm.. so funny.. i went to raffles to wait for her.. but den she is at city hall.. haha.. i blured..

nvm nvm.. went over to look for her.. den went walk around to MS.. went to eat the ramen.. so full.. den see ppl do aerobics.. haha.. think someone quite interested to join in hor.. haha.. den walk around somemore.. went to buy gift box for her friend's present.. den we take train to her place there.. coz she forget to bring the present out.. and she need to change clothes.. omg.. wa lau.. so many ppl keep looking n looking.. feel like poking their eyes out sia..

sibeh jialat.. juz keep coughing n coughing.. argh.. one thing about me is that.. normally i wunt get sick.. but if i get sick den normally will be quite jialat and take quite long to heal de.. been coughing for a week since last friday's fever le.. sianz.. everytime wanna say something den will start to cough.. so better to juz keep quiet.. -.-''' ...

meet up wif her sisters.. den went to join her sec sch class de bbq.. hav a hard time remembering all their names.. haha.. the ppl there so funny.. all so friendly.. but feel abit weird la.. haha.. no common topic.. lucky got her accompany me.. thankiez.. =) .. den we 2 went walk walk and chat chat.. den is like a bunch of her friends juz came surounding us and like questioning us all sorts of things.. haha.. abit scared of them sometimes.. =S .. but overall they r nice ppl la.. =) .. guess there will be alot of tims i will be seeing them.. haha.. especially all her sisters.. haha.. she stay at there till quite late.. but i went home first le.. coz juz keep coughing.. haiyo.. sorry sorry.. somemore quite tired also.. hehe.. lucky got her friend drive her home.. so i oso no worries.. =)

heh.. looking forward to our next meeting.. haha.. u still owe me something.. and i still owe u something.. nxt time den we exchange ba.. lol.. =) .. cheers to us.. haha..

ignore or appreciate

2007-06-30T20:00:00.001+08:00

right.. juz remember the phrase.. for the 'man bu jiang li'..

"Ignore the UNREASONABLE.. Appreciate the UNDERSTANDING.."

yup.. thats wad she said too.. =)

1st book out

2007-06-30T19:34:00.000+08:00

HUAT AH!!

finally!! first book out!! after 2 weeks of torture.. hahaha... ok la.. wunt say is torture ba.. but juz that the training is tough.. but oh well.. still hav to go thru it.. haha.. got nothing much to complain about the training.. juz those idiots at other platoons who alwaz dun cooperate.. den end up we who are doing it well oso face the punishments.. sianz.. but oh well.. juz treat it as another form of training ba.. haha

learnt alot of things in camp.. met new frenz.. and juz come to think of it that we will only be seeing each other for 3 months.. and after tt we will be going to different units.. the time span is not really tt long actually.. so soon already 2 weeks gone le.. soon will be 2 months.. soon will be 2 years.. changes in me? heh.. maybe.. juz hav to push myself to keep going.. gotta hav a goal or aim.. motivations.. and encouragements from ppl ard me and from those i care for.. its more of mental den physical training.. juz hope tt i wunt collapse so soon.. keep going.. keep going.. juz keep going.. =)

whats my aim? i wanna go to OCS.. why? i wanna proof myself that i got the ability to take the lead.. and tell my parents that i ain a little boy no more.. so first.. i need to be a gd follower in order to become a gd leader.. i really admire my platoon sergeant.. for his way of putting the thots into our minds.. not physical but mental training.. salute.. after 2 years.. where will i see myself to be at? hopefully my 2 years will go thru smoothly.. and after tt.. hope that wad she say will come true.. going to the same uni together.. and hopefully by then things would be much clearer.. =)

looking forward to every book out days.. alwaz not slipping the chance to contact her or ask her out.. but.. haha.. alwaz juz my luck.. =S .. well.. i aint that 'man bu jiang li' too ba.. shyt.. forgot wads the eng word for the phrase.. haha.. anyway.. u got ur work to do and alwaz busy.. so juz treat as goving more space for each other ba.. =) .. less is more.. hope my bet for this is true.. haha..

going 8pm soon.. 24 hours later i will be back into camp le.. hehe.. see how fast time pass.. hope that next book out will come soon.. hope that my food poisoning get well soon... =.=''' .. hope that my hair will grow back soon.. lolx.. hope that 2 years will pass by soon.. and hope that she will accept me soon.. haha.. =x

last word

2007-06-15T01:10:00.001+08:00

from this point of moment.. 30 hours more.. its gonna be the day when its suppose to say a boy will change to be a man.. like.. whao.. really? im so impressed.. *clap clap*.. kinda dun really feel anything..

really..

nothing..

everyday juz like normal day past by.. wads the diff? theres no tension.. no excitement.. not hoping for anithing to happen.. juz feel so dumb.. wadeva man.. im alwaz dumb.. so juz be dumber..

2 yrs.. millions of things can happen within 2 yrs.. life could change.. ppl could change.. places could change.. everything could change.. and theres nothing that i can do about it.. maybe i wunt noe.. maybe i dun wanna noe.. maybe i would change too.. everything is juz too late.. part of me is looking forward to it.. and part of me is not..

1 word to describe my feelings now: SHIT

2 words to describe my mood now: BLOODY SHIT

3 words to describe my life now: BLOODY HELL SHIT

but i predict that it would be worse when im in.. but b4 going in.. i feel like im already in deep shit.. dun wish to elaborate more.. i aint gd at sharing things.. thanks to u all's care n concern and wad-so-eva pursuing a better life for ur child wanting them to hav the best in everything.. i aint some 10 yrs old freaking hell kid.. cant i jus hav a moment of peace.. i noe how u all feel but it juz aint gonna work.. anymore.. its too late.. im sorry too.. very..

misplace of trust.. again n again.. wake up my idea can i? wad the hell m i thinking of? knock some sense into my brain can i? i've been conned... am i? hav i just realised it? or what the hell am i thinking of? cool.. i just lost my mind.. i wanna trust.. yet im scared.. i trusted.. yet i stepped back.. im juz an easily contented small kid.. u treat me gd.. i will treat u like god.. yet its alwaz these gods that made me lost my confidence again n again.. but yet they treat me gd.. again.. i misplaced it..

come to think of it.. and from wad i can see.. i dun really hav much frenz actually.. im an angry young kid now ok.. wadeva shyt tt comes outta my mouth might hurt ya.. but i dun care.. tts my attitude.. nobody cares till its too late.. trying to salvage the aftermath.. wads the point? acting like a saint.. when i think everybody is juz insane.. promises are meant to be broken.. juz like rules are meant to be followed.. but laws are meant to be broken..

Guilty Conscience.. juz like having a million voices telling me to do different things at the same time.. which voice shld i listen to? there aint juz 1 or 2 voices.. but millions of them.. wad is the right thing? wad is the wrong thing? who defines wads right and wads wrong? theres alwaz an explanation for everything.. so how can anione define wad im doing is right or wrong? why issit right? why issit wrong? .. .. .. hell... crap toking..

Good bye, myself...

test for u all

2007-06-14T02:23:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

60.. oso with some missing

2007-06-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

1. Where did your last kiss taken place?

hmm.. in my room.. =x

2. Who knows a secret or two about you?

close frenz of me.. =)

3. 3words to explain why you last threw up?

i cant remember

4. Have you ever burned yourself?

yeap.. playing wif lighter.. lol

5. Who knows you the best?

hehe.. the one who know me the best shld noe wads the answer.. =)

8. Who is your role model?

come to think of it.. i really duno.. guess im my own role model.. =p

9. Would you ever want to be a model?

errr... maybe?

13. Who do you want to be with right now?

somebody.. but kinda impossible.. =(

15. Have you ever lost someone you really love?

nv will be.. they r alwaz in my heart.. =)

16. Your motivation for tonight?

errr.. chiong game.. -.-''' ... no life.. coz nothing to do yet not sleepy

17. Last thing to hurt you?

someone that i trust betrayed me..

18. Last person to make you laugh?

chyi the lame basket.. =.='''

19. Last thing you ate?

custard pudding.. nice~ .. =)

21. Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect?

yea.. a few times.. flies.. mosquitoes

22. Do daddy long legs freak you out?

nope.. mine's longer

23. Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit?

not really

24. Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it?

alwaz.. haha.. im a garbage bin.. =.='''

25. Do you kiss your pets on the mouth?

i think is the other way round..

28. Do you ever talk to the TV?

dun watch TV

29. Would you ever work in a retirement home?

maybe not..

30. Do you believe plants have feelings?

yeap

31. Do you laugh at people with "bowl" haircuts?

no.. i use to be 1 of them.. lol!

32. Do you have nervous twitches?

sometimes.. mental disorder.. =S

33. Are you ever purposely irritate?

huh? purposely go irritate others? maybe.. haha..

36. Love or lust?

love..

37. What did you do today?

went to chyi's hse den play bball at tiong cc

38. Favorite food?

any nice food.. i not really tt picky.. =)

39. Do you believe that your 1st love never dies?

oh.. hmm.. haha.. come to think of it.. YUP! =)

40. What event are you looking forward to coming up next?

meeting up with tt pig before enlistment.. gotta treasure every single moment from now on.. =)

42. Most favorite people?

piggy pig.. poly gang.. phk (work place) gang.. quan bu ren (pri sch bfs =.=''' ) gang.. and a few others.. =)

44. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonald's?

Student meal filet-o-fish.. no up-size.. coke as drink.. not member.. 2 curry sause.. thank you

45. Are you an emotional person?

aparently yes.. =s

46. Do you like your name?

not really..

47. What color of shirt are you wearing?

err.. transparent?

48. Do you have plans for tomorrow?

hav lots of plans but none will seem to work.. supposingly wanna re-make my specs den afternoon mabe go look for that pig at her work place.. and dinner wif family.. BUT~~~ .. tml chyi n bro will be coming over to play till maybe evening..

49. Do you work?

not anymore.. soon will be working for the country.. =.=''

50. Do you have a bf/gf?

bf... yes alot.. gf.. not at the moment..

52. What are you listening to right now?

oh.. juz realise i havnt turn up the music.. =p .. ok.. now is Liang Zhi Lian Ren by Cao Ge

53. Biggest fear?

think theres a similar qn above rite? hmm.. fear of being betrayed.. and nobody is ard.. =(

55. How long have you been a part of friendster?

go check it out urself.. Member Since: Dec 2003

56. Favorite place to be?

anywhere as long as tt piggy is ard.. =x .. when alone.. err... bball court.. esplanade.. east coast.. home..

57. Do you have a crush?

not anymore.. =)

58. Do you love anybody?

hmm.. maybe.. i oso not sure..

59. Does anyone hate you?

haha.. err.. duno.. think yes ba.. =S

60. How many people do you trust fully?

hmm.. maybe 1.. =)

tests

2007-06-09T11:47:00.000+08:00

You Mostly Have Your Emotions in Check
Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person. You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way. But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral. Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.
Can You Keep Your Emotions in Check?

Your Love Style is Agape
You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.
What's Your Love Style?

What Your Dreams Mean...
Your dreams seem to show that you're very preoccupied with your fears and problems. These bad dreams indicate that you need to spend more time on your issues during the day.
What Do Your Dreams Mean?

You Are 60% Happy
You're definitely a happy person, even though you have your down moments. You tend to get the most out of life, though there's always some more happiness to be squeezed.
How Happy Are You?

Your Personality Is Idealist (NF)
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.
The Three Question Personality Test

You Are a Little Scary
You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.
How Scary Are You?

Your Power Element is Fire
Your power color: red
Your energy: hot
Your season: spring
Like a fire, you are full of power and light. A born leader, you easily draw people toward you. You are full of courage and usually up for anything dangerous. You have a huge ego and love to be the center of attention.
What's Your Power Element?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect
Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!
Are You a Good Kisser?

You Are 64% Open Minded
You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.
How Open Minded Are You?

You Are a Realist
You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass. You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is... But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on. You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.
Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

You Are 69% Addicted to Love
Might as well face it, you're very addicted to love. But you're not really getting the deep love you seek. Short lived, dramatic relationships are more your style. Let go of needing someone, and you may find someone you actually want.
Are You Addicted to Love?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence
Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds. You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.
What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover
You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.
What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Are a Sensitive Kisser
For you, kissing is a way to connect And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy It may take you a while to kiss someone... But when you do, it's total fireworks
What's Your Kissing Style?

How You Are In Love
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.
How Are You In Love?

70? with some missing

2007-06-09T11:12:00.000+08:00

1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
err.. somebody.. =)

2. If you were drafted into a war,would you survive?
maybe?

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no.. havnt switch it on for like months..

4. Have you ever drank milk straightout of the carton?
yup..

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
hmmm?

6. What is your longest fight you had with one of your friends?
errrr....

7. Are you a fast typer?
no leh

8. Are you scared of the dark?
nope..

10. Who can you always turn to?
the pig sijie and piggy pig.. why everybody oso pig.. -.-'''

11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
errrr... long before your time.. =s

12. Do you knock on wood?
hmm? knock my head on the wood?

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
nope..

14. Do you think you're attractive?
no ba..

17. What do you want for your next birthday?
something the same for every birthday.. ~~~

18. Do you know the muffin man?
wads that? can eat one?

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
haha.. no la..

20. Have you ever flown a kite?
yup... long before ur time oso..

22. When was the last time that youwent swimming and where?
errrr... forgot when.. but think is sentosa.. lol

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
nah.. if im successful i wunt be like wad im now.. =s

24.How many people are on your contactlist of your cell phone?
haha!.. 14.. yes.. FOURTEEN.. juz lost my phone not long ago.. =.=

25. Have you ever jumped on a trampoline?
???? wads tt???

26. Plans for tommorrow?
duno.. the day i plan alwaz wunt happen..

27. What's your middle name?
no middle name la

28. Missing someone right now?
hmm.. yup.. =)

29. When's the last time you told someone you loved them?
o.o ... 4 mths ago?

31. How are you feeling today?
sleepy.. and i wanted something which i alwaz wunt get..

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
no.. im a good boy.. =)

34. What are you looking forward to?
a day when i can spend all my time with someone..

37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
yup.. doggy treat.. honey flavor.. not bad.. =)

38. Can you handle the truth?
maybe?

40. What 3 things do you always bring with you to places?
wallet. hp and keys la..

41. What are your plans for summer?
hmm? u mean like theres other season in sg other den summer? haha

42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone?
hmm.. maybe..

45. How often do you talk on the phone?
depends on whos on the other side of the line.. but normally not.. =)

46. Do you believe in love?
why not? if u believe, it will happen.. =)

47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
yes.. YES.. yup yup.. somethings and somebody.. =)

48. Three things about the opposite sex that you first notice?
hmm.. appearance.. attitude.. character..

50. Who did you last see other than family?
my gay partner, eugene and kulaa at kbox..

51. where is your cell phone?
infront of me.. about 10cm away

54. Favorite Color(s)?
my life is in black n white

55. Last movie you watched?
Himalayah Singh.. LOL

56. What song are you currentlylistening to?
lin yu zhong - mao tou ying

57. What do you want?
someone

59. What t.v. show are you watching?
none

60. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
my mum.. =.=

61. Is it cute when a gal kiss you on your forehead?
sweet..

62. What would you do if you received a long love letter?
errr.. read and keep lor.. =s

63. Jeans or shorts?
jeans

64. Do you text message alot?
haha... if i find someone to sms with..

65. Do you believe in love at first sight?
haha.. not really ba..

66. Gold or silver?
silver

67. On a scale of 1-10 how much do gals confuse you?
hmm.. 10.. haha

68. Tropical drinks, or Starbucks?
tropical.. hehe.. healthy lifestyle

69. Do you ever picture your wedding dress and wedding?
i wunt hav a wedding DRESS i suppose.. =s .. but.. haha.. nv thot of it..

70. Any last words?
this wunt be my LAST word..

rainbows

2007-06-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

behind every dark clouds, theres sure a sun brightly shining..

after the sky dropped its tears, it would be a sunny day again..

it creates an arc of rainbow in my world, stretching across the blue sky..

but for there will sure be another dark cloud covering the sunshine..

i wanna enjoy this moment of warmth as thou it lasts for ethernity..

this sweet but limited feeling..

as thou its like rubbing sugar onto a wound..

for i noe, its not gonna last..

therefore, i wanna treasure every rainbow that came across my sky..

before its gone, i would pick it out from the sky..

and hide it in a corner in my heart..

whenever dark clouds appear, i can then peep into my heart..

to remind me that, there will be another rainbow going to be placed in my heart.. maybe..

its painful.. to hav so much rainbow in my heart..

not afraid of it getting overflown.. but rather forgetting wad each rainbow represents..

nobody noes.. after the next rain.. will there be another rainbow hanging above..

wad will i gonna do.. already carrying so much rainbows in my heart..

theres no way i will discard them away..

as my heart has already been dyed by the rainbows..

all i can do is to continue collecting them..

every ending leads to a new begining..

would it be the same for the weather in my heart..

how i wish that there will alwaz be this sunshine after every rain..

-----------------------
6th june

today.. i caught another rainbow after the thunder storm..

thanks for the sunshine that i hav been searching for..

jus when i needed it most.. searching high and low..

almost drowned in the thunderstorm..

i saw the warm-est and sweet-est sunshine..

and the most beautiful rainbow appeared in my heart..

=)

stolen

2007-06-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

Police Station Of Origin
Bukit Merah West N.P.C
500 Bukit Merah View #01-01 Singapore
159682
Tel no: 1800-3779999

Date/Time Report Made
02/06-2007 19:01

Name Of Informant
LEUNG SIU WAI

Occupation
Unemployed

Sex
Male

Age
21

Race
Chinese

Language
English

Date/Time Of Incident
02/06/2007 16:30 - 02/06/2007 17:00

Location Of Incident
APT BLK 95 Henderson Rd Basketball Court SINGAPORE

Brief details. This report shall be signed by the informant.
On 2/6/2007 @ 1630hrs at B/95 Henderson Rd, basketball court. I placed my black pouch on the floor at one of the basketball pole. I then went to play basketball with my friends. Shortly, one of my friend (Victim 2) saw a kid came and sat near to my pouch, he saw the kid moved my pouch and hid behind him. (V2) then approached the kid and took the said pouch from him and placed it near to the basketball pole. As the pouch was within our view thus we continued playing.

On the same day @ 1700hrs. I discovered my black pouch was missing and the kid also no longer at scene. I did a search at the vicinity, but to no avail. This is NOT the first time of such incident had happened. I have 1 suspect in mind.

Description of the kid: Male Chinese about 10 years old, wearing red T-shirt and Bermudas.

Description of missing my pouch containing items are as follows:

Victim 1
1. One Sony Ericsson W710i, valued $650 /-IMEI: 353066015946753
2. One bunch of 5 keys
3. Cash S$5/-
4. One black pouch valued at $20

Victim 2
5. One Nokia 7610, valued $650 /-IMEI: 355382005151025
6. One grey wallet valued at $20/-
7. One bunch of 3 keys
8. One Singapore NRIC
9. One POSB ATM card
10. One Student Pass
11. One Ezlink card
12. Cash S$20

------------------------------------------

its like so wtf sia.. nett total is like $1365++ worth of valuables.. GONE!!!.. juz in a mere 30min... or less.. kao.. nv do i trust small kids again.. NEVER!!!

help

2007-05-19T01:33:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder.. do anyone really see wad im typing here? coz i cant really find any other ways to express how im feeling inside.. except juz to blast everything here.. im really lost.. can somebody come n guide me along? if not.. would anyone be juz so kind to end my miserable life so tt i dun hav to to thru all this.. i noe this sounds crazy.. maybe every reader is juz thinking that.. 'this emo kid is juz full of crap'.. nobody may believe in me.. and i dun expect anyone to believe in me.. but do i? i do.. actually.. would appreciate if ppl could believe in me.. but maybe im juz so insignificant in their life.. that doesnt make any difference..

20 years had past.. till now.. i still dun understand myself.. who am i? how can i expect others to understand me when i myself oso dun understand myself? i aint myself anymore.. i duno who am i anymore.. who can i talk to? who can tell me who im? i really freaking hate myself.. how crazy can i get any further? i slashed myself on my arm.. i ride a bike facing the opposite direction.. i juz wanna freaking get myself killed.. i juz hate myself so much.. disappointed.. in everything.. everything that everyone taught me since the cradle is bullshit.. i juz cant accept the truth.. its far beyond my imagination.. this world is juz too real for me to handle.. i wanna break free.. lost in words.. too abstract.. i juz dun wish to comment anymore..

all i wanna do is find a way back into love.. sometimes i juz wanna hav somebody besides juz to accompany me.. maybe come out get together to hav a drink and a little chat session.. or juz simply lay back n gaze at the stars.. im juz so disappointed.. in myself.. i juz dun dare to utter a word.. im a very straight forward person.. and i dun really like to keep things.. but as time past by.. the trust for others decreases.. and it soon formed a barrier between me and the others.. ppl that r once my gd frenz.. were long gone.. leaving us wif unsaid goodbyes.. soon forgotten and forgone.. nv did we see each other again..

shit.. mind blank in progress..

.. forget it.. dun feel like blogging liao.. continue some other time.. or get to me if anyone do care.. i juz wanna noe.. wad the f is happening to me..

=]

2007-05-17T12:33:00.000+08:00

yawnz~

walked since afternoon till nite..

tired..

was hoping can get some nice sleep..

but juz cant get to sleep..

toss n turn..

thinking of alot of things..

listening n singing along to songs in my phone..

finally fell asleep at 4am

but was awake at 7am..

duno y but juz so used to waking up at 7 every morning..

went back to sleep..

was awoke by a phone call at 9..

rejected the call and back to sleep..

was awoke by the same phone call at 10..

rejected it without 2nd thot..

and im wake up..

not feeling sleepy at all..

wide awake..

i wanna do something right in my life..

at least like how other ppl are..

i hope i am..

at least for this month's time..

=]

speak no evil

2007-05-09T09:26:00.000+08:00

its now 9.28am.. woke up everyday like 7 or 8.. actually theres more den enough time for me to be on time for work.. but i juz would be slacking at home.. thinking thru the same question everyday.. shld i or shld i not go for work.. its not the work that irritates me.. but juz.. i duno.. i got dozens of work that i hav yet to do at home.. i still got a website to do.. i still gotta train.. i still got many more things to do.. but im still stuck in this company.. .. correction.. i still staying in this company.. they didnt tie me up or anithing.. but juz that i dun wanna leave.. yet.. its not for the money that im working for.. but i juz wanna help them out.. i aint deaf.. i aint blind.. im juz playing dumb.. i heard wad u all were saying.. i juz didnt say anithing.. and i thot that it wouldnt be a gd time for me to leave.. maybe till clearing some work for them.. sure i'll miss u guys.. cheers..

赢不了

2007-05-08T02:06:00.000+08:00

我不想就这样一直走

每天都遇上充满敌意那种眼光

等机会就是要打倒对方

这种结果我不要

这虚荣的骄傲

这目的很好笑

我其实都知道

你只是想炫燿

我永远做不到

你永远赢不了

我永远做不到

你永远赢不了

永远都赢不了

selfishness

2007-05-08T01:52:00.000+08:00

changes in me..

makes me..

no longer myself anymore..

i wanna be selfish..

i wanna do something big..

i wanna..

leave everything..

i dun wanna be..

wasted..

anger is more useful den despair..

take it and die trying..
or leave it and try dying..

3rd option?

continue to be a piece of trash..

die or not to die?

2007-05-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

1 thing that i learnt.. u dun hav to tell anybody if u really wanna die.. juz die quietly and everything will be fine.. no worries no trouble dun hav to face anithing anymore.. the more u tell ppl that u wanna die.. the more u dun wanna die actually.. its juz the attention that u wan from ppl.. that u see other ppl as neglecting u.. wanting them to ask how r u feeling.. juz wanna be the center of attention.. but it juz aint gonna work.. u see.. doesnt it make u seem so pathetic? to use this kinda cheap methods to seek for attention.. juz die will ya.. i wunt stop anyone to die.. its not worth the effort since his/her mind is set.. so dun try to stop me too if u found that i wanna die..

shan zai shan zai

2007-05-05T09:12:00.000+08:00

hmm..
it didnt went as i planned..

i only left office at 7..
reach home at 8..
went out again at 9..
movie till 12..
slack out wif my frenz till 3..
only get some rest at 4..
woke up at 8..
reach back home at 9..
and damn its gonna be a long day today again..
overdue submission till night
bball session before 3 till 6
and im a damn walking zombie
havnt had eaten anything since ytd lunch
maybe my fren mentioned something tt i didnt notice..
i like to torture myself.. =D

yea man.. so proud of it.. =.='''

er mi tuo fo

2007-05-03T11:38:00.000+08:00

wooo~

slp at 3
woke up at 10
went back to trim hair at 12
reach office at 1
koala bear reach at 4
run out to ikea at 5
off to ABC for dessert at 6
on my way to bugis wif Ms Show at 7
checking out new games at arcade at 8
journey back to tiong to meet ray at 9
off to HMV till 10
still at borders to browse magazines till 11
back at henderson at 12
meet cammie and bebe and xiao xin till 2
reach home at 3
comics thru the nite till 4
finally some rest at 5
phone rang at 9
only to see the msg tt follows at 10
started raining since 11
the time now is 12
suppose going back to office at 1
going ritz carlton to collect stuff maybe at 2
getting outta there at mayeb 3
not intending to stay in office till later den 4
thinking of wad to do after 5
hope i can last till 8
maybe meeting cammie again after 9
dinner maybe at 11
wanna get some sleep before 12
and deadline to submission in 24 hrs

i wanna zzz... =.='''

wasted

2007-04-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

im wasted

zero degree

2007-04-25T01:22:00.000+08:00

partial mental disorder-ed

didnt go work today

supposedly already awoke since 7am

bathed.. get changed.. sat down.. i juz vent my mood out

sat down at the sofa.. thinking of wad i've read..

many things juz flash past me

msg bp say i not going work..

got out on my krave and off to east coast

it was a sunny morning.. but not anymore

started to drizzle when i reach clark quay

till it become pouring rain when i reach kallang

cold.. drenched.. tired.. famished.. my mind was blank..

i juz keep on going..

surprisingly east coast lagoon food center is under renovation..

and its still pouring..

drenched.. with no where to go.. cold.. with no warmth to hold

at tt point.. i realised.. tts my life..

i was alwaz on my own.. heading no where..

i was dripping wet and the wind is as cold as blizzard

who can i call for help?

who would come to help?

why shld i call for help?

when i noe no one would be here..

i duno whether issit rain or tear on my face

but still i hav to go on..

not to let the cold catch hold of me..

where shld i head to?

wads my aim?

where is my destination?

i duno

the rain helped to cleanse my mind

i juz cant think of anything..

maybe.. juz 1.. at tt moment..

when i come around.. i was on my way back home..

was out for 2.5 hrs..

reach home took a hot shower..

and sleep my afternoon away..

woke up only at 9pm..

and there comes the nagging again..

shut

Destroyed

2007-04-22T15:19:00.000+08:00

yup.. ur right.. im juz a piece of trash.. =)

grrrr

2007-04-08T21:55:00.000+08:00

shyt... so many thots.. so fan.. so confused.. so much things to do.. yet so little time..

----------------------------------------

yawn~~~

so bored...

slacked for a few days..

parents went to cameron since fri early morning

till now.. sunday 10.45pm still not back home yet..

being stucked at home cant do anithing

wanna go out to hav a ride oso cant..

"its dangerous out there at nite ya noe"

yea?

so wad?

tts my point

juz feel like being tied down..

damn sick n tired of it

my whole life

juz being bounded..

stop stopping me from doing wad i wan can?

i would rather die out there den die of boredom at home

----------------------------------------

time to think of future?

and how?

stupid NS

wads the point?

yea i noe its not funny

but

wahahaha

wad hav i got to start wif?

got no motivation at all to do anything..

what do i get in return?

why shld i do this?

why shld i do that?

eh.. im not some kinda golden retriever that muz do wadeva u all tell me to...

im myself

still trying to gain back the old self of mine tt i use to be..

been lost for too long while trying to 'become' the ppl around me..

-----------------------------------------

whyyy...

i dun wanna become like those ppl ard me..

i wanna get my own life too..

but its juz so meaningless to do things alone..

alone...

am i?

i duno..

what is there seems to be not there..

what isnt there alwaz seem to be there

contradicting..

juz like my feelings..

-------------------------------------------------

aiya.. duno wad to write le la..

too many thots..

grrrrr....

drafted =)

NAH!

2007-04-01T02:04:00.000+08:00

SIAN~!

submitted my timeSHIT today.. not as good as expected.. but not unexpected.. anyways.. suppose hav 3 tasks for the day:

- hair cut
- service bike
- pack my room

in the end only 1 tasks is donw.. wth..
went to cut hair after work.. juz thinner it.. not much change.. haha.. waste money again.. dun care.. den uncle n cty they all keep asking.. fan si ren le.. ask them 4 come down.. in the mean time.. when i reach home is already 3pm le.. quickly grab my krave run down 11 storey.. stupid lift renovation work la.. den chiong my way to chin swee.. reach.. but in the end didnt do anithing.. nabuey.. they say the bike is not bought from them they cannot help to tune.. wth.. in the end the boss come out to ask them help.. budden they do it in like 5min.. and its shit.. nothing done.. or shld i say from bad to worse.. even more out of tune.. coz if hav to wait for the guy to really go fine tune it will hav to wait for about 30min.. and by den will be 4 plus liao.. damn.. sua liao la.. chiong my way back to henderson in 2-7 gear.. nobody came.. wth.. nvm.. since i reach le muz well juz let the bike shop uncle hav a look.. and after tuning for like 30min.. it start to rain liao.. den they all say dun play liao.. wth.. somemore the bike is still half way done.. and the uncle juz dump my bike to a side with all the cables dangling and duno go where to server other customer.. na buey.. sua liao la.. tune it myself.. kns de.. gotton abit better.. but still is not in good shape.. haiz.. think hav to go for full service liao.. which will cost like $100+? kns..

went home.. bathe.. den sis come home.. went out to dine at tiong bahru.. the new restaurant.. duno wad xiao xun feng.. wah.. the service is like shyt la.. cheena man open de stall.. no uniform.. no nothing.. workers all no experience.. operation is in a mess.. service is shyt.. attitude prob.. ordered quite some food.. juz to try it out.. turns out to be.. small small proportion.. but expensive.. and its not really tt fantastic ya noe.. kns.. i myself can do better den them.. and they no brain.. who will serve desert to customer at the start of the meal? funny dao.. den somemore food came.. ordered ramen.. coz tts wad their so called famous dish.. i ordered some duno wad shyt "Shi Cheng Niu Rou La Mian".. or wad so ever call singapura beef noodle or some shyt la.. knn.. come out to be some canned beef in noodles wif 1 whole spoonful of dried chilli in chilli oil.. i see liao is like wah kao.. ho seh liao lah.. coz im having flu for a few days too.. i see it already lost appitide liao.. wad i can taste is juz hot n spicy.. nothing else.. i duno whether issit beef or some tree bark tt they use to disguise as beef.. kns de Lan~! .. and the ramen is like mee sua sia.. wth is tt sia??? omg and its not cheap.. sian ji pua liao.. scope off some chilli and juz fast fast throw it down my stomach.. nvm.. den sam ordered the curry chicken ramen.. its the best liao.. and which we waited for it like 30min.. AFTER WE FINISH EATING EVERYTHING.. wth~~.. they still breeding the chicken issit?? or they went to india to buy some curry?? knn de.. wait till buey tong liao.. wanna ask them to cancel the order so can go eat some other things.. ask the waiter to come.. they juz come here ask whether the food has come anot.. den went off liao.. the next time he come pass us even pretend not to see us.. best! .. den ask him to come again.. wanna cancel the order liao.. coz wanna go off.. den he juz ask us to wait a few more moment aden he went off liao.. yea.. HE ASKED US TO WAIT!!.. NOT FOLLOWING WAD WE TELL THEM TO DO!! so he is telling us wad to do now.. wah kao.. best of best liao la.. wanna eat cannot eat.. wanna leave oso cannot leave.. haha.. go eat shyt la.. close down fast fast la.. den when we wanna go giv them the bill le den it come.. and its like already no mood to eat liao.. fo F de service.. and its nothing much surprising too.. there write is RAMEN.. but it turns out to be KWAY TEOW.. shuang dao~~~ .. when we wanna leave le den they come refill our tea.. which we been telling them since 30mins ago... brainless retards.. and we eat all those shyt and it cost us $70+.. including SERVICE CHARGE!! .. fuck u la.. serve my ass man.. nv go there to eat anymore.. xiao xuan feng.. i'll giv u a hell of a storm man..

freak.. my finger is like nv gonna heal.. think age is catching up on me liao.. =.= ... na hia.. think is fracture.. den suay.. thumb and last finger of right hand.. last finger one confirm is liao.. cos normal sprain wunt last for like a month plus de ba.. i even lost count of when i fractured it liao.. shyt.. gotta get it well before it kanna feng shi.. sian la.. flu attack.. at home make one tonne of wanton using tissue liao.. my voice so funny now la.. dun wanna tok much.. not like some ppl.. at work suddenly will got some amazing n stunning sentenses come out from no where one.. damn swee.. shld record it down someday.. fucking hell.. duno whether she too bored or mental disorder or juz plain nag.. sometimes when the office quiet down.. junks will start to come out from her.. in her past life she must be a voice recorder.. somemore is a spoiled one use by some mental hospital patient.. everyday saying the same old useless crap and producing those irritating act cute noice.. yi ba nian ji liaoo.. bai tuo la.. dun assume u noe other ppl very well can.. see other ppl's bad point but duno u urself the bad points.. only noe how to gossip behind ppl's back.. manager so wad? as if i care? im a part timer come here especially to giv u a hell of a time.. kick ur bloody arse man.. everybody in the company oso siao siao de.. especially those in manager posts.. aussie wif attitude prob who speaks a chuck of shyt tt nobody understands.. i think i can understand wad banglas say better den urs lor.. and the ang moh BOSS.. doesnt mean the company is urs u can dun giv face to other ppl lor.. teach u some chinese manners lesson den u noe.. hang u upside down n slap ur bloody face ah..

WGS is round the corner.. and ya.. shyt.. no jacket yet.. damn.. thin kmy last resort is the G2K at marina tt i saw the other time.. i duno wads it like and wad i feel is that its gonna be a month in hell.. swee.. too late to step out now.. see a step and take a step ba.. duno whether will be going over to IT side anot? duno wad will i be doing during the event? duno can i teke it anot? my fren told me that i shld take a rest for now b4 going in to NS.. cos yes.. its pretty shyt work here working in this shytty company facing all the shyt ppl wif shyt attitude going to take a shyt everyday and juz ask us to step on it.. anyway.. juz emphazising that its a shitty work down here.. same pay for OT.. same pay for web design same pay to do shyt work.. i can get better rates out there man.. i can take this time to complete my CCNA cert and come out as a network engineer seh.. wadeva man.. its ending soon.. !

madness

2007-03-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAH~!!!!!

YAY~!!!

FINALLY~!!

CERTIFIED AN HOUGANG CHALET VIP~!!!!

HAHAHA~!!!

KEE SIAO LIAO LA~!!!

TMD~!!!

WTH IS WRONG WITH ME~???

KNN~!!!

SUDDENLY MOOD SO GOOD~!!!

BUT IM OT HAPPY AT ALL~!!!

SHYT~!!!

THINK I GOING CRAZY LIAO~...

XIU DOU LIAO~!!!

SHORT CIRCUIT~!!!!!

I DUN LIKE THIS~!!!

SOMEBODY JUZ KILL ME~!!!

hahaha~~~...

haiya... whats the big deal???
wth am i thinking???
think so much for wad??
its the same old thing...
nobody listens...
hahahaha...
even so...
theres also nothing can be done about it...
so juz let it me la..
let me be too..
i already duno who i am or wad i am liao...
am i a human being??
if so..
am i a normal one?
hahahaha...
really sia...
everything reverse when it reaches its limit...
haha..
wth am i saying???
i duno.. dun care..
or shld i say?
hahaha... wads the point of saying???
juz giving myself and others more trouble??
hahaha... say oso nothing can be done.. forget it den..
dun waste my effort..
crazy arse...
duno who am i saying this to also...
HI~ BLOGGER!!!
hahahahahahah!!!!
WAH LAU EH~!!!!
why everything so mafan one...
go n die la...
*YAWNZZZZ*
im tired...
but no mood to sleep leh..
ahahaha...
WHAT THE HELL~!!!!
STUPID M1~!!
hahahah....
OMG... SWENSENS IS NICE~!!
hahahahahahah~!!!
SIAN LA~!!!....
i wanna go learn driving la...
wa lau eh~!!...
i wanna go learn bike also...
OEI~!!!!!
i still havnt service my bike la.. KNS~!!!
when the hell is ubin trip????
camping at ECP???
BUKIT TIMAH???
hahaha... find something extreme to do leh..
very sian of my life la...
too bored....
HAHAHAHA~!!!
imgaine going sky diving without a parachute...
is damn sian + suay la...
u noe u going to die and yet u cant do anithing about it...
HAHAHA....
sadist la...
HELPP~!!~!~!~!
hahahaha

the end... fullstop.. s........

great

2007-03-25T16:30:00.000+08:00

i fractured yet another finger..

hatred

2007-03-24T20:34:00.000+08:00

what???
so what???
as if i choose to....
i dun wan any of the money...
i dun deserve it...
im juz a part timer come here to zhuo bo lan...
i happy...
i juz wanna get the hell outta here..
its not where i belong..
i didnt come here to be made a fool for entertainment..
shyt~
not happy?
its ok..
im even more not happy den u all..
i juz wanna do things tt make myself happier..
is it a crime?
is it wrong?
sorry to be an eyesore to everyone..
i see myself oso as an eyesore..

everytime i try to get up..
theres sure somebody coming along to step on me fiercely..

i didnt say anithing doesnt mean i feel nothing..

i juz swallow back everything and listen..

i tried to take the initiative to ask ard..
but why did i wake up so early juz to come back?
is this wad i get in return?
fug off la..
im not a scape goat for everyone to blame fault on..
i do not take any responsibilities to take in everything u all say..
i got my own say too..
but in this world i juz seem so insignificant..

money is the root to all evil..
becoz of money ppl will do anithing for it..
man without money is nothing..
or issit...
man: "without money, its nothing.."
i prefer the latter..
since young i been having prejudices about wich ppl and money..
wad can money bring to u?
happiness?
if so..
wad if one day the money runs out?
does it implies that the happiness will run out as well?
can money buy friendship?
for how long can it last?
can money buy a life?
how cheap can my life get?
im juz a worthless piece of shyt..
end of story..

these few weeks had nv been happy b4..
wad i felt is juz...
anger..
hatred..
sadness..
anxious..
useless..
fear..

wtf is happening to me??
wtf is happening ard me??
wtf is going on in this world??

why did i first start playing bball??
from wad i remember..
its becoz i think tt its fun..
i think tt i can make more frenz..
i think tt it can make me stronger..
but after so long..
wad has it turned into??
hatred is overwhelming joy..
we all wanna be strong..
wad i been thinking is juz how to defeat the opponent
how to be more fierce
how to score
how to improve
it seems that the reason to play had turn to become something sinister
it seems that the joy n laughter i once had is already long gone..
it seems that i made more foes den frenz..
it seems that i had become weaker by the days..
from since i once love bball so much..
it turns out tt i hate it as much too..

wad will tml be for me?
will there be any?
will i survive it thru?
is there still a long way ahead of me?
nobody has the responsibility to be there for me..
nobody will be there all the time..
i once believed in forever..
but it seems like its juz another fairytale that is not workable in reality
everything that has a beginning..
has an end..
juz like myself..
sometimes i juz wish tt i can control my fate.. my destiny..
it hasnt been written..
it hasnt become history..
but why issit human alwaz realise the truth when its too late?
no pain.. no gain..
greater risks come with greater achievement..
at the same time..
greater disappointment..
....

what the hell am i talking about??
what is real?
what is not?
how do u noe tt its real??
does it matter??
i juz wanna be happier..
is it really tt difficult??
i duno..
i really duno anymore..

f a d e d ~

F

2007-03-23T20:28:00.000+08:00

FUG~~~!!

everything juz went wild..
thots juz gone everywhere..
fug it.. damn..
shyt!
depression strikes again..
freaking hell~
wads the purpose of me holding everything back???
wads the purpose of me trying to divert all my attention???
wads the purpose of me dont wanna mention it anymore???
wads the purpose of me in life???
wads the purpose of me getting into deeper shyt???
wads the purpose of all these purpose??? when the truth is that... i cant get over anything..
FUG! FUG! FUG! FUG! FUG!
god damn me!
rain!
rain all u wan man~

wad the hell is wrong wif me?
is it wrong to juz find a way to make myself happier???
wad the hell am i arguing wif myself??
why the hell i hate the other half of me so much??
shyt~~
its a war zone down here i tell u~
wad m i feeling now???
wads this all about???

cant everything be juz settled once and for all???
cant my life juz be done wif once and for all???
why do the same things keep heppening over and over again n again till im dead Dead DEAD~!!
hear me scream!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh*

why

sick n tired of everything
a life wif no purpose
no meaning
everytime i found one
i would find my other half trying to take over me
i try to fight it
but im tired of trying anymore

maybe its me that needs to go to the mental hospital ba

i already duno wads right and wads wrong...
damn.. think im sick...
mentally..
am i?
well...
who cares anyway?
i try to scream out..
but no one hears me
i try to reach out..
but no one grabs me
wad do i get in the end?

SP..
no matter wad happens..
hang on to wad u hav..
dun end up like wad im now..

YM..
.................
im trying hard to believe
im trying hard to trust
mi not trying hard enough?
im sorry
to disappoint u..
and myself..

princess..
maybe..
our communication had already broken down le..
im sorry..

kulaa..
i duno..
i really duno anything..

-------------------

i ate gun powder for my meals
it juz keep accumulating..
at home..
when nobody its around..
it triggered..
and i juz went berserk
blaming..
cursing..
scolding..
all kinda shyt happens..
wad has this family come into conclusion..
i wonder..
this place that im staying in..
is juz another place for me to sleep in..
it seems to hav many things..
but it doesnt in reality..
hardly get to see my family like juz 3 to 4 hours a day..
even if i saw..
the first word that come out from my mouth wunt be something good
im sorry..

wad am i?
do i seem funny?
why had i become an entertainment for everyone?
juz push me out to die and u all juz laugh from behind
its ok man..

i shldve known better..

but i still went out to die for u all..

i respect u all..
unlike u all..

.......

damn me..
starting to blame on everything and anything again..
shyt!
looking back on the things ive done..
i was trying to be some one..
but now..
wad hav i turned into?
at this moment..
i felt i fought off the other half of me..
but i noe..
i will be back soon..

STOPPPPP~!!!!
i juz wanna stop..
stop everything...
stop my steps..
stop my breathing..
stop my heart beating..

fug the world man..
wad has this world come into...
its already beyond our imagination
everything is juz outta our control
everyone is juz slaves of destiny
we do wad we hav to do in order to survive
its a cruel world out there
everything tts been taught to children are juz plain bullshit
trying to blind them from the truth and reality

...

Adios~

KOALA BEAR!!!!

2007-03-22T21:12:00.000+08:00

wahahahaha... =.='''

madednessationalisticallily maded

damn sian ah~~~~
one day yet another
one week yet another
chasing a nv reaching goal

suppose meeting tml after work
end up dun think so
let fate decide ba

--------

Grrrrrrrrrr~~!!!!
fannn ahhhhhgrrrrrrr
once againnnnn
noooooooo

howwwwwwww????
whyyyyyyyy????
mixxxxed + confusssssed
losssssst
heeeeeelp

i love...

2007-03-19T08:01:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY MAMA~!! =D

comments from everyone

2007-03-19T07:14:00.000+08:00

what?

what u all wan?

how can ppl tell one's character and thots juz by reading their blog?

am i the me that u all noe of?

how much do u ppl noe about me?

neither do i noe myself very well..

dun assume that u all noe me very well..

right

2nd thunder at 7.19

weather change like flipping coin

2007-03-19T07:04:00.000+08:00

right...

doesnt hav to take effect so fast right..

its juz a matter of a few hours..

and like.. Whao...

i hear the first thunder at 7am..

the sky juz turn dark..

its freaking myself out too ya noe..

i dun believe it sometimes too but it really is happening..

coincidence?

fate?

if so..

i guess..

its gonna be a rainy season soon....

yuan lai....

2007-03-18T15:59:00.000+08:00

friday n sat went for work.. its so boring.. coz i noe nuts about accounting.. alwaz juz sit there do nothing.. do those filing stuff and cleaning office.. haiz.. juz feel so useless and out of place.. budden at least theres still somethings tt i look forward to work.. for $$ and to kill time ba.. coz if not working oso will be at home rot and waste $$.. oso get to start chatting wif Kulaa.. hehe.. fan ah fan ah.. so so so so fan.. sat is half day work.. can dress down too.. meaning no need formal.. still ok.. budden sadly Kulaa not working on sat.. and luckily neither is our supervisor.. at there help to do those filing n stuff.. only i sit at there to listen music..

den after work.. suppose wanna meet elle coz she not in good mood.. wanna go out play den cheer her up.. budden she say tired n sleepy.. haiyo.. so let her rest at home ba.. kinda worried.. i noe got things happened.. budden she dun wanna say.. haiz.. oso no use forcing.. when she feel like saying den i listen ba.. =) .. hmm.. so went to play bball.. coz uncle oso wanna play.. long time didnt ask him to play le.. coz he oso wunt be staying here for long.. going back to indo to buy house.. hehe.. got time shld go there play.. =) .. and also his present hav yet to giv him.. somethings really weird in this world de ba.. humans get along together.. it doesnt matter who they are.. but they juz enjoy each other's company n enjoy life together.. i noe this 'uncle' for like 3 yrs le ba.. alwaz play bball and chat together.. but till now i still duno his name.. funny huh.. if everyone is like this.. wif no hidden agenda.. there wunt be any conflict in the world le ba.. =) .. tired tired.. long time didnt exercise le.. since start of work.. no time to go jogging oso..

there comes stackers and their crap.. this time their coach say they book both courts for training.. wtf la.. as if they r the government lidat.. even the tnet club incharge oso dun care.. from far see us oso run off liao.. shyt.. nvm.. den saw tianyi.. she oso seldom come down de.. think becoz now she help to coach the boy's team ba.. coz today their first training.. so went to ask her to organise 5-5 friendly wif the guys.. cos juz now we r still playing together wif them before their training.. budden their coach dun wan.. everything he say de.. say wad training havnt end until 10pm.. and shyt they finish it at 9.. fine.. FINE~.. sian.. went home.. was wanting to go mac for some slacking session wif ym.. budden tired.. didnt go.. went to sleep at 11+..

zzz

suddenly woke up at 5am..

went outside living room sit at sofa..

went back to sleep..

woke up at 1pm.. saw all the msn msg n stuff.. and call back to elle.. drop my call 3 times.. sian half.. haiz.. nxt time call me if my msn didnt reply.. need ppl to wake me up from my sleep also.. if not i will be sleeping like a log till duno when liao.. den read her blog and stuff.. sian another half.. den she called.. finally.. chat on msn.. budden still wunt say anithing.. ok.. i noe she mood not gd again.. and those nicks she wrote.. i saw.. i thought.. i felt.. but maybe like wad she say.. our communication had broken down.. maybe i cant feel how she feel anymore.. but i juz wan her to feel better.. coz i was lidat too.. =) .. when theres nobody ard to cheer me up.. i juz went crazy.. no matter wad i do.. nobody care.. juz feel so hopeless.. love to an extend when it become hopeless.. i juz went HAHAHAHA... theres things tt i dun wanna say too.. things i juz kept to myself.. maybe like wad i said.. i did regreted.. and sad.. and angry.. with or without me.. problems are still there.. so why the F did i made tt decision at first.. it make me feel as thou my decision is for no gd reason.. i came and i leave.. it doesnt make any difference.. what am i? somebody trying to be there but as if im juz something extra.. im sorry to sound so harsh.. but did u think for me? u dun wan me to do things for ur sake.. but did u do things for ur sake too? u made decision.. ok.. fine.. but how would i feel? maybe its none of my business.. but i juz cant watch this any more.. sometimes i juz dun wanna care.. like wad u said dun look back.. but did u? did u??? dun ask ppl to do it b4 u did it.. yes.. nobody is perfect and everybody is selfish sometimes.. tell me how do ppl stay together if everyone is so selfish? sometimes i juz duno wad to say... seeing u lidat.. i can be selfish too and can juz heck care and pretend i didnt see or hear anithing.. but i cant.. juz the same for u.. wad if one day i juz fell and i cant stand up anymore.. wad if i met wif some freak accident someday and end up in hospital for life? wunt u hav even 1 bit of concern? if yes.. den i guess im juz wasting my time writing all this crap here..

sorry for sounding so harsh and fierce..

...

cheer up.. maybe its wad u alwaz wanted to be loved and pampered by him.. but.. theres alwaz 2 sides to 1 coin.. nothing is forever in this world.. this world has already exceed our imagination and expectation.. nothing is for certain de.. juz be so dumb so be so blind and hopelessly in love.. .. so dun say animore sorry le.. coz in the end the one who hurt the most is you.. seeing u lidat my heart oso ache.. somethings cant be forced.. but it doesnt stop u from trying to take the first step out.. everybody gotta learn to stand up on their own.. one day he may leave.. one day ur mummy may leave.. one day i may leave.. one day everybody will leave for certain.. its not anyone's duty to be there for u 24/7 to support u.. wad i can do is juz to guide u and let u learn.. maybe u dun wan.. but its a never changing fact.. i noe u r trying hard to try to take this all by urself.. keeping everything to urself.. and i oso got no rights to ask for anithing.. wad i can do is juz to be there for u.. =) .. alwaz the stubborn little princess that i noe of.. wads promised will alwaz stay the same..

zzz

2007-03-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

14th March 2007 -- Wednesday

3rd day of my boring work again.. hhaha.. starting to get sian of it.. cos.. mainly becoz im being assigned to the accounts and HR dept.. and i noe nuts about accounting nor HR stuff nor office operation.. ahah.. zzz... they tok about account stuff wad accumulated depreciation i at there stunned look at them.. haha.. today basically juz stay in office to help tally the fixed assets and bla.. lunch time went out wif the company de intern.. claire.. from nyp business management.. haha.. same course as her.. but different batch.. saded they duno each other.. den is back to office to tally again.. bla bla bla.. after work.. bp going meet MY.. den wanna meet TY to go tbp walk walk.. budden walk halfway he ps me liao.. sianed.. go home le lor.. den call her.. haha.. finally she pick up the phone!!! hehe.. happies.. and off to bed.. zzzz...

15th March 2007 -- Thursday

4th day to waste my youth... zzz... mac in the morning.. den is back to hell.. boredom can kill a person slowly sia.. haha.. but today i become loan shark.. haha.. legalised loan shark.. calling other companys to get them to pay their bills.. haha.. no fun.. den is help to file things up.. and vaccum and blah.. coz today duno who birthday in the company.. quite high pose de.. den think they celebrate at the accounts dept there ba.. coz is kinda wulu.. at a corner of the office.. not much ppl go there.. so to give the person a surprise.. bla bla.. den i still dun get y Kula alwaz laugh at us.. not really laugh la.. like giggle lidat.. -.-... hai ok la.. not bad.. hehe.. den today huat ah.. battle of the century.. accounts vs accounting mgr.. hahaha.. the mgr abit kee siao de.. duno wad she saying.. sometimes talking to her ownself.. den talk to us oso talk rubbish.. say till one of my colleague dulan.. throw paper and attidue.. haha.. woo... den all the accounts went out.. left the mgr alone.. haha.. dun work liao.. all go slack.. go to the building de technician's place to slack.. which is at the power riser there.. den slack while suddenly got loud sound from our room.. PAK!!! ... whole building power failure.. hahaha... cool eh.. something wrong wif above level de office la.. haha.. den when going for lunch tt time our HR in charge den come back.. oso another no-discipline king kong.. cos these days office alwaz power failure.. den ask her to go buy some torch light.. from morning buy till lunch time den come back.. madness.. den bp went bank in check.. i stay in office to do filing n stuff.. haha.. -.-... bored.. 6.. knock off time.. went to get changed.. woo hoo.. finally no need formal wear.. happie dao~~... took bus to cine to meet the poly gang.. dinner at cartel.. fun n happie time.. den went to ps play arcade.. den the rest went home.. left me n elle.. walk walk at ps.. den she went to took bus to his hse.. i took bus home.. yup..

work work work

2007-03-13T19:50:00.000+08:00

12th March 2007 -- Monday

Today is the first day of work.. kinda tired la.. coz sleep at 2am the previous nite.. hehe.. and woke up at 7.30 in the morning.. yawnz~~ .. havnt been waking up so early these days.. haha.. alwaz about noon den wake up de.. hmm.. meet up wif bp at busstop.. den went to bm mac there for breakfast n fill up those forms.. den took another bus to the place there.. bla bla bla.. normal procedures.. gotta sit wif the account ppl.. haha.. kinda weird and out of place sia.. from IT change to other work.. ok.. the room there gt account and HR.. and im suppose to assist them.. haha.. den do those sai kang work.. read up company policy.. send courier.. photocopy.. bla bla.. lunch at ABC market which is juz nearby.. budden not really like the food there.. but bo bian la.. hav to go wif colleagues.. den ltr went out to pick up a cheque from another company and bank in.. at town area... den sneak off to play arcade at PS there.. wahaha.. out for 2 hrs den back to office.. damn tired la.. sleep on bus.. zzz.. den hav to vaccum floor and the fun thing is the paper shreding machine la.. bo liao go shread paper.. haha.. sianz~~... den 630 lidat went off le.. went to vivo wif bp.. was looking for black jacket for the event.. budden too bad they didnt sell le.. sianz~~.. hav to source for other places le.. hm.. den went eat breaktalk.. play arcade again.. zzz... den slack there till 9+ den go home le lor.. first day of work still quite ok.. and off to bed.. zzzz

13th March 2007 -- Tuesday

yawnz~~... zzzz... tired.. slp at 1+ again.. haha.. was chatting n playing mine sweeper.. omg.. gonna beat my own high score.. hahaha.. crazy.. been playing mine sweeper these days.. now my high score to complete the expert 99 mines de timing is 390s.. hav to try harder.. haha.. anyways.. morning same old thing.. went mac for breakfast.. bla bla.. reach office.. den slack awhile.. duno y today like suddenly got alot work liao.. prepare some letter to send out.. den send courier.. check the fixed asset register for the past years.. den lunch.. oso at ABC market.. again didnt eat much.. not quite nice the food.. den off to pick up cheque and cash out at PS again.. ahhh.. the citibank the teller so pretty la.. hahaha.. =x.. walk awhile in PS.. bla bla.. den back to office.. check register again.. den check invoice for those refund transactions.. aiya.. all boring stuff la.. den juz like everyone says.. the office is full of cold arrows flying here n there.. haha.. lucky im the quiet one.. tts y alwaz listen to wad others say.. and which i think that aiya.. if u dun respect others of cos u dun expect them to respect u ma.. haha.. juz hav to noe wad tt person wans and work towards tt to avoid conflicts ba.. everybody juz hav to compromise to each other la.. and work end at 6 again.. took buz home n here im blogging.. fullstop..

anyway.. today suppose to be the day tt she come back from camp.. hmm.. duno whether shld i call anot.. juz scared tt she didnt pick up the phone again.. haiyo.. sianzed.. no time to meet up also.. haha.. nxt wk onward den start to get busy le.. alot ppl going oversea business trip den many things will be passed on to us.. and i think we will be in the event's roster.. meaning april will hav no time for nothing.. == no life.. hehe.. haiz.. its ok ba.. =) .. time is for me to find..

EMO

2007-03-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

omfg~~~

its an EMO world out there ~~

everything is so EMO~!! went to take some EMO sunset pic wif ray at around river vally area.. and the EMO sky suddenly turned dark.. den saw an EMO bird trap in the canel and i dun think its swimming.. so EMO.. den went to take a look at the swiss valley bike shop nearby.. omfgggg~.. the bikes are so EMO cool.. den took an EMO bus to bugis.. ray wanna buy an EMO pouch from zinc.. alritey.. saw melissa there wif her fren.. buying some EMO pouch too.. walk a few more EMO rounds and off we go.. and ray is complaining about that EMO pouch tt he bought.. it look so freaking EMO and gay.. woot woot.. heck.. den off to home.. still playing those EMO games.. listening to those EMO songs.. make me more n more EMO.. and ppl are asking me to watch some EMO movies too...

EMO-ed

What's left of us in this song?

2007-03-10T23:57:00.001+08:00

it's been a month hasnt it.. guess everything's back to how it was.. everybody's heading their own direction.. life goes on.. well.. it's not a bad thing after all.. juz abit of missing pieces here n there.. seeing those significant things and walking thru those familiar places..

* close eyes * take a deep breath * open eyes again *

maybe it seem to hav ended.. but.. i dunno.. maybe its a way tt i try to put up a strong front.. but its the only option i've got.. no.. there are other options.. somewhere out there.. well.. cant really say so.. or maybe those options has already expired during the struggle.. yes.. 1 did.. expired.. but not griefing over it.. but nonetheless.. wish u r happy too.. and u too.. =) ...

* oh damn.. my comic is covered wif tears *

now.. option no. 2.. or shld i say the option even b4 any.. well.. i duno whether do u really exist.. sometimes u are here.. sometimes u disappear.. trying to get use to it.. but.. dun really think its a good idea if communications are limited.. i dun wan having a day when i hav to paste posters of missing person around singapore.. but.. tts the way of how u work.. so everything seems cool.. for now.. till after 13th.. we shall see.. and those presents ungiven.. pizza.. movies.. will be on the way..

* once upon a time 3 yrs 5 months ago... and the story continued...?? *

shyt... having this pain at my right knee since 2 days ago.. maybe due to over exercise.. been jogging these days.. and not forgetting bball.. and its giving me a hell of a time.. round trip to esplanade and sentosa.. nope.. not on bike.. on bus 11.. no pain no gain? yes.. pain-ing now.. so m i gain-ing? maybe.. gaining somemore weights.. gain somemore so hav to pain somemore.. damn.. i cant jump any higher.. i cant even walk properly now.. or shld i say cant even straighten my knee..

* shyt.. and work is like starting in 2 days time.. hav to wear formal everyday.. now where the hell m i gonna get the blazer? *

G2K selling 200 bucks for a blazer wif matching bottom.. -.- ... hmmm... maybe later.. event is in april.. shld i ask to claim from the company? woooo... fat hope.. zzzz.. suddenly dun feel like going for work.. well.. den wad shld i do at home? looking at the four walls.. talking to myself.. laugh the hell out of some sill stuff.. jog till my knee breaks.. oh heck... damn the driving sch.. lessons all fully booked till early may.. shld hav taken private in the first place.. shld i juz scrap it and change to bike? nonono... mum's gonna kill me for tt.. ah.. heck it.. till end of NS den reconsider.. not having much time now... oh damn the work.. office hours sux.. no time to meet up after the 13th.. shyt.. only can meet up at nite if possible.. the keywork is alwaz "IF"..

* wooo... whao.. nv did i knew tt she actually did blogged.. *
* ooo... hmm... *
* -reading in progress- *
* oops.. didnt saw the new post a few days ago.. =x *

heh.. hope tt i can trust again.. trying to giv my full confidence to her.. in the meantime gaining it thru time itself... so.. let me.. once again.. like a fool.. who's too sure.. im like a bird.. who's lost her wings.. a fire.. without its flame.. .. .. and the song goes on.. JJ Lim - Now that she's gone.. wads left of us.. in this song?..

happy valentines day

2007-02-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentines' Day to everyone out there.. =D

hope tt everybody enjoys this memorable day of togetherness wif their loved ones.. and to those who are yet to love or be loved... wish that someday you will find ur true love.. =D

and as for me.. heh.. i dated my assignments and presentation today.. so xin fu.. hohoho.. still thinking bout the late nite call wif princess.. =) .. but sadly cant meet up wif her today cos of somethings.. hehe.. but anyway.. hope tt she enjoys her day too.. =D

so stress.. but luckily.. im freed~!!!!
wahahaha.. today juz finish up everything le.. yay.. done with cmsk4 brochure.. adnk practical assessment.. individual interview and MP presentation.. wahaha.. budden still left with fashion assignment 2 + 3 and MP labsheets and final term exam.. hehe.. stress.. but still can relax for these few days.. =D

broken heart

2007-02-13T01:49:00.000+08:00

slow slow Slow SLOW~!!!

how slow can i get any further?!?
haiz...

juz alot alot n alot of thots running thru my mind..
firstly.. really hav to say a big big SORRY to princess.. for wad happened back then.. i noe u dun like ppl say sorry after they already did something.. but juz feel sorry to make u feel bad.. haiz.. thot thru alot of things.. but im those kinda person tt dun learn their lesson until its too late de ba.. tried to control.. but juz seem hard.. but i shld learn it this time.. learn it the hard way.. juz like u did.. it made me very hard to trust anyone anymore.. not even myself.. and im juz afraid to let go when i finally thot that i found my reliance.. i juz dun dare to trust anyone else...

how naive can i get... keep hanging on to the believe that someday.. u will return.. but.. maybe its a dream tt will nv come true ba.. maybe all the while it is this believe that keep me going ba.. but someday.. it may juz be gone.. and i.. juz lost my way... really very lost.. i duno wad i doing every now and then.. you gave me an identity.. that im someone worthwhile in this world.. its because of u tt portrait the image of me.. because of u.. i am who i am.. i feel alive... u would not allow any drop of tears to roll down from my cheek.. juz hav a sudden surge of guilt.. that wad i did for u is nv ever enough to repay ur love.. juz feel that im so useless.. maybe im juz a coward who only sees the good things but didnt appreciate all the background efforts ba.. i cant bear to leave u.. sorry.. i may juz break down any moment.. human alwaz only realise someone's importance when its near the time of losing someone.. im stubborn n selfish.. maybe for a month.. maybe a year or two.. maybe till im in my 30s or 40s.. maybe forever.. that i may still be unable to get over u.. nv had i been so serious in love b4.. first in my lifetime.. that i really can entrust u wif my life.. im willing to giv up everything and anything juz to be wif u again..

been trying hard to keep up wif everyone's pace.. projs are pushing me off the edge.. parents are worried.. and i juz wanna feel better.. but its hard.. infront of u.. i juz broke down.. im juz like a small baby without the care of a mother.. like wad u said.. u juz hav to be beside me and i will feel much better.. but.. having the thot that it would juz be another heart piercing preparation to leave u later on.. i juz duno wad to do.. i juz went mad.. i noe i shldnt do it.. but i juz wanna find some comfort.. the feeling of heartbeat that i had nv felt before.. sometimes juz wish that u could bring my heart together wif u when u were to leave.. maybe i would feel better.. feeling that my heart is alwaz wif u.. .... ... and i broke down.. yet again..

sakura sakura

2007-02-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

well.. decisions are made.. things cooled down.. wads said is said.. tears are droped.. more den enough promises are broken.. thats about it le ba.. hehe.. but juz tt.. its all parts and puzzles of life ba.. wipe off the tears and it would be fine.. =) ... its not really a sad thing.. but instead i felt that i learnt alot from it.. and from u.. thanks for everything.. truly

back to reality.. i really am a lucky bastard to have princess around me still caring for me.. kinda worry about my fren.. who is like going thru alot of stress too.. maybe similar situation as me.. but is a fatal mistake... wads done is done.. cannot be undone... duno wad i said will hav any effect anot.. but i still can lend u my shoulder to lean on.. haha.. althou abit gay.. but i dun care.. seeing my fren so jialat.. somehow i can feel how deep he loves her.. juz like im to princess.. but happy or sad.. life still goes on ya.. maybe like wad he said is true.. ppl alwaz say dun giv up the whole forest because of a tree.. but to me.. i would rather giv up the whole forest juz because of a tree.. juz simply because.. i love it.. =D .. thats already became part of my life.. juz like princess.. and her to him.. losing her == losing his world.. for now.. wad can be done is to wait ba.. till a day when she is touched by u again.. muz hav faith.. not anywhere else but in your heart.. =D

oh man... im so stressed.. tired tired.. althou i noe theres still alot things to be done.. but yet juz feel so relaxed.. dun feel like doing anithing.. maybe becoz mp is over le ba.. den somemore cmsk OP is over le.. and lucky i noe tt i didnt fail.. =) .. now still left with cmsk brochure.. adnk practcal assessment.. mp presentation.. and fashion assignment 2 + 3... den is final year exam liao.. but after tt still gotta produce those dumbo lab sheets.. haiyo.. stressed.. haha.. but yup.. i will jiayou de.. princess too.. and everybody.. =D ..

after which.. it maybe time for everybody to go seperate ways le ba.. sad.. dada shld be going U.. and guys shld be going dumbo NS for 2 yrs.. lame.. after which when i come out also already 23+ liao.. omg.. old.. den princess maybe going overseas.. sad sad sad.. ='( ... muz keep in contact k.. muz muz muz~!! promised de.. =) .. and as for me.. i oso duno.. maybe taking my sis' path ba.. most prob she would be bring me into her company.. as network engineer or wadsoever.. and at the same time shld be going for part time U ba.. so shld be saving much more time.. =) .. hope to see princess.. haha.. dun ask why.. juz wanna see.. fullstop..

PMS~!

2007-02-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

rahhhhhh...... PMS~!!! =.='''
duno why today very bad mood.. split personality... sometimes juz wanna shout out loud and find something to fa xie... Grrr~~.... sorry sorry to princess... =( ... today abit attitude.. coz sick.. and u oso sick.. morning took 2 panadol.. whole day dun feel well.. juz wan u to accompany me.. budden u going his hse.. somemore u so busy on the phone all the while.. haiz.. wanna say i dun like oso cannot.. =x ... having cough for a few days also le.. hope we get well soon ba.. =) ...

ROARR~!!!
feel so bad.. come home only quarrel wif my mum over the air freshener in my room.. duno y at a certain point of time in a month sure will feel like this de.. pms liao.. =.=''' ... hehe.. maybe need sometime to go crazy awhile den ok le lor.. hehe.. saded.. krave still havnt go for service yet.. no time.. cannot ride.. haiz.. valentines day coming oso.. juz realise.. even more sianz.. coz.. haiz... hope tt princess will be free ba.. if not den most prob will be juz staying home to slp.. =( ... haiz... this semester ending soon le.. duno wad to do after tt.. where to go oso duno.. duno still can see princess anot.. ='( ... but i noe if we have faith sure can see de la.. =D

haiz.. so bored.. hp didnt ring for whole day except for princess' call.. =( ... everyday oso so bored.. *yawnz*... tired but dun feel like sleeping... keep listening to the song 'gan qing xian' ... really have a very deep meaning.. and really tells how i feel.. =)

cmsk sux

2007-02-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

whee.. since a week didnt blog le.. been busy chionging mp report last few days.. now is time for a little break le ba.. hehe.. okok.. den is cmsk.. wah.. buey tahan~~.. everytime eveything last minute de.. haiyo.. i already so tired le.. but thinking of that cmsk still need to be done.. so i juz be nice to ask the girl got any idea to do anot la.. i msn ask her since afternoon.. no reply.. ok.. nvm.. tot that she went for the fashion class.. so wait.. wait.. wait.. till at nite 6+.. still no reply.. till den already sian liao.. den at nite 9+.. when i already tired of waiting le.. den she reply ask me wad to do.. and she didnt went for the fashion class somemore.. wth~~

ok.. nvm.. den ask her got ant idea anot... she say no idea den ask me to do...wa er lor... ok.. nvm.. den i ask her to edit the ppt slides abit.. add in company profile.. mission + vision.. contact number all those.. den i do the eposter... sianzed lor.. was thinking of using it as an overview of the whole ppt presentation.. so have to wait for the slides to be ready first.. she say ok.. shld be done in 30 min.. ok.. at first i still thot ok.. budden i wait.. 30min... 1 hr.. 1hr 30min... till 11+pm when finally wait till buey tahan den i go ask her hows it going.. den she say wanna go sleep liao.. wth lor..

the slides she juz use back the previous one and juz add in some things.. didnt even bother to change the txtbox bgcolour.. so basically i have to clean up her mess again.. nvm.. shall continue wif my eposter first.. cos i dun think will hav time to do tml morning.. and by then i already damn damn tired.. coz still chatting on phone.. didnt even look at the slides den i juz fall to my slp liao... zzz...

nxt morning woke up 6am to chiong ah.. wa lau lor.. see the slides i dulan liao.. is really juz a 10 to 15 min work lor.. and she need to use 2 hrs to do.. sian half liao.. nvm.. no use grumbling.. shall finish up the eposter first.. juz anyhow design liao.. use anything and everything available.. till it became so weird.. haha dun care liao.. den no time liao.. juz pack my clothes in my bag and go sch liao... go sch den continue to edit the ppt.. was thinking of writing a speech so i can like explain more in my words.. not like the practice session lidat.. budden is like very dumb.. somemore no timeto print and things.. so juz go and perform on the spot la..

the slides i already dun care liao.. and the girl i oso dun really care liao.. she dun be late ok liao.. slp early wake up late.. say will reach sch at 1pm.. at first i tot is already very late and i was thinking of rehearsing abit first.. and yet.. she can oversleep somemore.. si beh tulan sia.. 1:30 den tell me juz woke up.. kns la.. juz tell her to meet at the LT suan le.. den msg come asking me which LT issit.. wa.. ha.. ha.. ha.. maded.. its ok.. go in LT.. is freezing cold la.. been having fever last few days somemore.. nvm.. den she came.. and she wearing like a sweater and a mini skirt???? im like.. omg... wth... wahaha?? ... trying to be funny?... haiz..

no comments liao.. ask her to take a quick glance at the slides and cfm wif her how the presenatation goes.. den bla bla.. presentation starts.. and i juz sit there like sitting inside a fridge.. cold till my fingers are numbed.. den is my turn to go present.. damn G la.. cold till cant even talk properly.. sianz.. dun care.. den start.. bla bla bla.. i really dun hav the mood to present le lor.. juz mind blank.. reading the slides all wrong.. juz dun feel like going on liao.. at that point i juz pause there.. for like 5 to 10 sec.. and many ppl r like stunned.. den i juz pass on to her to present liao.. sianz.. dun care liao..

QnA i oso duno wad i saying.. when we suppose to ask other ppl qn i oso duno wad to ask.. somemore dun wanna ask.. juz no mood to tok and bla.. duno y.. den till ada n oinkz group to present.. hehe.. still okok la.. noe she feeling cold.. ask her dun need take off the blazer le.. somemore her's is juz a short sleeve blouse.. haiyo.. presentation not bad la.. hehe.. the video funny la.. =.=''' ... hehe.. den finally its over..

this week i really enjoy very much.. =) .. really very very happy.. hope can alwaz be like this..

thankiez

2007-02-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

lets cut down the crapz.. enough of all the sorries.. juz get down to the basics and learn how to love wif a pure heart.. no worries.. no burdens.. juz.. happy.. =) .. i will try my best de.. jiayou~! .. u too.. thanks for everything.. =')

yay!

2007-02-01T19:55:00.000+08:00

Today is the HaPpIeSt DaY of my life~! =D

Dealines

2007-01-29T18:19:00.000+08:00

Submission:

30th Jan [Tue] - Fashion ppt on Psychedelic

31st Jan [Wed] - CMSK OP rehearsal

+ 1 visual aid

5th Feb [Mon] - MP Final report

+ Appendices

+ Documentation

+ Diagram

+ Journal

6th Feb [Tue] - Fashion Assignment 3

+ Fashion Dictionary

9 Feb [ Fri] - ADNK Practical Assignment

To Be Confirmed [---] - ADNK interview

+ MP presentation

+ NAPFA

+ OLTC

windy

2007-01-29T00:49:00.000+08:00

Weather: Windy/Cloudy
Mood: =)
State: Sleepy

lots and lots of stuff wanna say.. so many things to do.. yet so little time.. haha.. stupid weather.. make me wanna sleep everytime.. muz learn to sleep anywhere anytime liao.. lolx.. continue some other day ba.. =D

Update

2007-01-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

I am happi todae

Because of you

2007-01-21T14:34:00.000+08:00

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

take care k

2007-01-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

oh ya..

and take care k.. rest more rest early.. =) .. anithing can alwaz giv me a call..

nobody

2007-01-15T17:43:00.000+08:00

10cm away... yet seem like 10km away.. the furthest distance on earth is not that i luv u and im juz beside u and yet u duno.. but is that althou we noe how each other feel.. yet cant be together..

nobody understand me anymore.. neither do i.. who am i? i already duno le.. wad to do? nothing that i can make a difference.. can anione tell me? why did i juz seem to cut off from the outside world and enclosed myself in her world.. why?? why?? i duno.. dun ask me.. hehe.. juz lost my way.. lost myself.. wanna cry.. wanna die.. but i wanna stay here forever.. in this world.. i juz seem to be alone.. all i can see is her.. all i can hear is her.. all i can feel is her.. all i can think of is her.. juz.. xi huan her.. =)

is there anithing wrong wif xi huan-ing a person? maybe this juz pose as a pressure for her ba.. i noe.. very stress.. sorry.. but.. u shld noe me better den anyone else.. =) .. all i can say is really sorry ba.. u alwaz ask me dun keep things to myself.. yet when i tell u how i feel u dun like.. and also theres nothing we can do.. so.. i rather keep it to myself ba.. 1 person feel bad is better den 2 ba.. =)

mr lonely

2007-01-03T18:44:00.000+08:00

facing the four walls yet again.. im totally sick n tired.. lost.. where m i? wad shld i do? wad shld i think of? who shld i talk to? thousands of words yet to be said.. and yet.. wads the point of saying anithing if it wunt do any good.. i dun feel good.. not at all.. not even a smile.. i duno why.. i juz wanna die.. every day i only haiz.. im happy is juz a lie.. and soon i gotta fly.. to a place where i can hide.. maybe for awhile but its not fine.. maybe the world is not as kind.. to face all of this all the time.. wadeva man.. sick n tired n sick n tired n sick n tired n sick n tired.. would be damn grateful if one day juz walk on street and a lightning juz strike me.. amen.. damn la.. dun even noe wad im typing here.. everyday come back home alone facing the four pathetic walls talking to the damn monitor.. i wish i could get use.. yes.. maybe.. when the day i die.. i dun wan history to repeat.. phobia.. yes.. scareded.. of everything.. dun dare to speak.. dun dare to walk.. dun dare to see.. juz having depression.. nothing much.. wadeva ppl say i dun really care anymore.. since i dun really see anybody care.. been lost for a few days and yet its like nobody's business.. who giv a damn? really really really very hard for me to smile anymore.. if one day i juz went off without saying anithing.. dun try to stop me.. i wunt guarantee wad i will do.. i hope the answer u have in mind is not wad im thinking.. dun understand wad im saying? its ok.. when the time comes u will noe the answer.. peace out

lemon tree

2006-12-29T23:03:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really wonder.. wads the point of me writing all these shyt here when it doesnt even hav a meaning or purpose.. does anybody really care about wad i write here? care about how i feel? care about anything? damn freaking sick man.. alwaz thinking of these things and juz have to keep them to myself.. wads the point of me announcing to everybody? wad can they do? wad gd will it bring? telling everyone about ur sad stories.. oh save it man.. already lost hope in everything.. damn sian.. everything happen so fast.. my life is in black n white now.. everyday doing the same thing over n over again.. when im back at home facing the 4 walls talking to myself.. demoralizing.. hello.. anybody hear me? well.. doesnt really matter who heard me or hurt me.. juz wanna die.. even if im gone i dun think no body will noe.. nor maybe nobody even cares.. yes.. will.. be in grief.. for a while.. and things will be normal after awhile.. please.. im 20.. not 2 years old kid.. please stop treating me like some dumb shyt arse kids.. do anyone really noe me? do you? do I? ... alwaz on the losing side.. wad else can i do? trying to keep up wif the freaking smile n silly acts infront of everyone.. nobody really see the reverse side of it.. see me thru a mirror.. the smile is actually inverted.. well at least i get some peace this xmas by spending it alone.. rather den like last year.. which i dun wanna mention anymore.. but the images is still flashing thru my mind.. who can help me to forget? brainwash me.. please.. or juz kill me.. thanks.. when ppl r in love.. they dun seem to care about other things other den their loved ones.. 3 yrs.. wad did i get? why did i spend so much time n effort? i may not wan anithing in return.. but... argh.. fcuk it la.. i noe im not with words.. but who can really listen to me? without any words said...? who is really there when i need someone? why? why? why? wads happening to me??? simply becos im feeling sad.. angry.. depressed.. suicidal.. moodless.. tired.. numb.. silly.. or wadeva shit la.. even so.. who cares?.. maybe nobody see wad im typing here now.. nor maybe this is juz another blog that appear on the internet with no meaning.. juz toking crap.. juz toking out the heart of a 20 year old alive-but-dead guy.. i dun really see the me that im used to be.. everyday.. everynite.. every minute.. every now n then.. im thinking of how u r doing.. will u be sick? did u take ur medicine? had enough rest? remember to eat ur meals? happy? sad? wan somebody to talk to? are u really happy together with him? ... money cant solve probs.. if a prob can be solved by money den its not even a prob.. i may not be rich.. i may not be able to afford expensive gifts to make u happy nor bring u to any high class hotel or restaurant or bring u go on a trip to oversea.. wad i only have is a true heart.. happiness is not something money can buy.. gifts i can make.. probs we can solve together.. even something very very simple can be very very unique n special.. i noe theres somebody who is able to take care of u.. using his life to protect u.. gives u 100% attention alwaz.. will remind u to take ur medicine.. watch over u while u r asleep.. starve himself if u dun take ur meals.. tell u silly jokes and laugh the hell out with you.. lend a shoulder for u to lean on when ur sad.. answer ur call even in the middle of the nite during the wee hours if u cant get to slp.. will alwaz be there for you.. alwaz trust you.. alwaz believe in you.. alwaz love u.. go ni ichi.. ichi san ichi yon.. san san yon yon.. =)

ENDUREEE!!!

2006-12-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

The

=(

Behind

The

=)

pistachio!

2006-12-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

BEBE PISTACHIO~!!
BEST BEFORE: DEC 2106

INGREDIENT: 100% PURE BEBE, NO PRESERVATIVES

CONSUME MORE FOR MERRIER FEELING
BEST SERVED WHILE STILL AVAILABLE

i flew

2006-12-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

10pm

medium drizzle

off to east coast

way back home

esplanade

below nicoll highway

speed up

jump

and flew

but

skid land

track mark

4 meters

throw out of bike

ouch

TAMIYA~!

2006-12-17T03:00:00.000+08:00

weee~~~!! Krave is out again.. =D ... after rotting for a month plus now.. finally out!! wahaha.. ray ask me for a slow ride wif his Norco this afternoon.. where to? seletar? macrichie? haha.. cracy.. in the end juz our same old meeting pt.. esplanade.. saw a few riders on the way there.. and i lost my left glove on the way!!! damn.. nvm la.. mostly i use right glove.. and maybe getting a new pair soon ba.. =) .. must have dropped it while taking out my hp.. =( ..

den off to esplanade... stupid nite riders.. keep on tempting me the nite b4 when i was there.. dun care liaoo.. today my turn.. haha.. den juz nice saw bp wif his NeoRider.. so sad.. he gonna sell NR away.. and getting a new bike in a few days time maybe.. =) .. went to kallang.. ride a long way.. saw those canoeing girls.. haha.. den reach indoor stadium.. saw the guy.. sold his bike.. and we r getting free flow of drinks and slurpee.. haha... the stupid ah neh at the 7-11 oso dun care de.. i buy 1 cup slurpee and basically i drink 1 and a half cup.. haha.. ray more zai la.. buy 1 Gulp for 1.30 and drink for 2 cups.. somemore get refill for his waterbottle.. =D .. shuang dao~~ ...

den is off to slacking time.. find some stairs nearby.. beside a bistro or something.. den try out stunts.. haha.. bp practice on his jumping skills with accuracy.. and i still tryin out my wheelie.. haha.. damn la.. duno who the hell they do the hops.. Krave is heavy.. and im even more heavy.. =.=''' ... WAH RAO... i wanna get rear disc brake.. roar!! .. jumping off a 4 steps stairs with perfect landing... haha.. 10/10.. thanks ah.. =D .. ray still cant quite make it thru yet.. the back wheel still hit the last step.. haha.. nvm.. shall practice more.. =D .. stoppie.. wheelie.. oh my.. i still cant get my stoppie yet.. Grrr... alwaz my feet will land first.. haiyo.. shall practice more..

den is time to go.. bp gonna take bus home liao.. haha.. saded..den me n ray make our way back to esplanade.. saw some band doing sound testing over there.. must be some event thinggy.. den 2 kuku rider suddenly dash past us.. tsk tsk.. nv die b4.. me n ray hop on and chase liao la.. haha.. from esplanade chase till clark quay.. juz nice can try out those jumps.. down the stairs.. drift thru corners.. den one of the kuku crash into the bush.. haha.. they seem to be ard our age.. still wanna play wif us.. haha.. first check pt.. opposite mirama hotel.. jump off a 2 step stairs just next to the river.. high speed cornering.. oh damn.. remind me of getting a motor bike again.. haha.. =D .. den is off to ho swee.. den down to henderson liao.. by then the 2 kuku already duno disappear till where le.. went to buy lemon tea to drink.. slack around.. go park and play.. den EHH!! the 2 kuku reappear again at opposite tiong bahru park.. hahahaha.. after we do all those den they catch up.. hehe.. dun wanna chase liao la.. chase from esplanade till tiong bahru liao.. bored.. hehe.. i think whole journet only took 10min or so excluding traffic light waiting time.. haha..

den time to go home.. reach home.. bath.. makan.. den is off to town liao.. wif ray n bp again.. haha.. too bad ty juz got back from town.. so he not coming.. town is damn crowded la.. stupid xmas thinggy.. first went to opp far east there to look at some stuff.. den is off to ps.. took us an hour or so to walk there.. sianz~.. ice cream uncle damn zai la.. so crowded yet will can drive a motor thru the crowd.. power.. but is quite nice la.. so much deco.. the lighting also nice.. and the ppl wear those costumes.. den saw the islamic ppl.. den LOL la.. thot they r those actor also.. haha.. pengz~ .. overall is nice.. except for the crowd.. =D ..

den reach ps.. went to carrefour to 'shop'.. haha.. erm.. think is play ba.. haha.. damn bo liao la.. went round to see see look look things.. den went to the ice cream section there to play the ice cream.. like small kids lidat.. haha.. nice leh the ice cream.. got alot.. at there laugh till pengz.. den stack the hagen daz ice cream till so high.. even taller den me.. stack liao fast fast run away.. haha.. wah lao.. den went to basement.. on the way down keep playing wif the potato chips.. throw here throw there.. haha.. oooo.. den reach the toy section liao.. LOL... remind us of our childhood.. =D.. wah lao.. nowadays kids r so xin fu.. the toys so nice.. so gd to play.. haha.. jealous liao.. den went to play around .. those stupid plastic sword.. chase for a few lanes to play.. -.-''' crazy peeps..

den saw something.. TAMIYA~!!! ... hahahaha... my god.. wah lao lor.. kids now de Tamiya so nice.. where got like us last time de.. haha.. den we each bought 1.. treat as xmas present for everyone.. haha..at first thot can RC (remote control) de.. budden the module is sole seperately.. duno where to buy.. somemore quite kuku.. haha.. den wanna go chinatown some day to buy the tracks for the Tamiya to run.. haha.. mad liao.. den saw a 6-men tent.. EHH~~.. 20 bucks only leh.. is so damn cheap compare to those outside la.. haha.. buy.. maybe someday went out to camp at east coast or ubin.. haha.. or maybe can setup Tamiya tracks inside the tent.. haha..

still play around the carrefour.. so damn fun.. haha.. play till 10.30 lidat den go off.. damn.. no more shuttle bus.. haha.. have to walk across to take bus home.. den EHH~~.. juz realise.. we lidat stack the ice cream till so high... THEY WILL MELT!!... haha.. still thinking of how much money they lose.. so bad la.. hehe.. den damn paiseh la.. 19 20 yrs old liao carrying a Tamiya.. haha.. somemore the bus so crowded.. everyone look at our Tamiya.. haha.. dun care.. juz carry and show everybody.. lolx.. den saw a girl.. is ray workplace there de ppl.. quite dao.. think she nv saw ray or juz pretent didnt see.. or maybe cos ray wear a cap den didnt see.. -.-'' wadeva la.. haha.. den the 2 of them kuku la.. start to open up the Tamiya box and yan jiu yan jiu.. haha.. my gods.. duno them... =D ... den reach home.. start to 'dao' the Tamiya.. till 2.30 lidat den finish.. stress.. but nice la.. hehe.. den ray keep complaining.. EHH~~ why the engine dun sound like integra?? =( .. disappointing... haha.. pengz..

today is a fun day.. =)

Sorry

2006-12-07T11:41:00.000+08:00

im sorry.. but no matter wad happens.. no worries.. theres still me.. still here.. alwaz here.. =)

Sunday

2006-12-04T07:31:00.000+08:00

3rd Dec Sunday

hm.. yawnz.. cannot be pig alwaz sleep till so late.. hehe.. woke up at 10 lidat.. den she also juz wake up n online.. haha.. she still at his hse.. been at there for the past week liao.. haiz.. nvm.. understand.. den today she got jap lesson.. but still havnt study.. ask her go study.. alwaz say orh orh orh.. den in the end went to watch tv.. haiyo.. piak.. only about to go lesson den go read.. hehe.. juz like wad i alwaz do.. =P .. hope can pass la.. hehe.. den she went for lesson.. i whole day at home.. ask ray n bp for a ride.. but they either no time or flew my aeroplane.. roar!!.. nvm.. at home do my own things.. cleaning my bike.. gonna rust liao.. need to clean n try n put a layer of oil to prevent rusting.. hehe.. den was thinking about wad to do for xmas.. sis will only be gone on 27th.. duno about 24th.. =( .. suppose she will come stay de.. haiz.. shall see how.. saded.. den xmas day.. melissa ask me to go watch a play.. first time ask me out leh.. hehe.. ok lor.. but if can choose.. i rather go out wif her.. =)

12am le.. Happy 20th Birthday Serena!! wahaha.. finally also 20 liao.. yeah.. same as me liao.. old liao.. hahaha.. =D.. wish all ur dreams will come true! cheers!

long weekend

2006-12-02T22:33:00.000+08:00

woohoo.. lets recap on wads happened these few days..

Thurs 30th Nov:
hmm.. reach home in the morning 7am.. the nite b4 went to meet pl and only left at 3am.. reach my hse area at 4+ den to found out the gate is locked from inside.. dun wanna ring up everybody in the house juz to get myself in.. went to central de 24hr mac to slp.. lucky got bring jacket.. but still the aircon is freezing cold.. hmm.. good way to clear my thot.. brain-freeze.. !!! ... hmm.. basically slp the whole day.. reach home 7am slp till 6pm.. haha.. still wanna slp more de.. but hungry.. didnt eat anything ever since dinner the previous nite.. haha.. anyway.. that nite i also slp till like a pig.. =D

Fri 1st Dec:
hmm.. been discussing about where to go today coz these 2 days we dun hav lesson.. shuang dao!.. haha.. supposingly we r going kbox ytd de.. budden no mood.. somemore everybody suddenly not free.. so in the end nv go.. so today they decide to go.. meet 1030am at pasir ris terminal.. going Loyang point de party world.. took bus.. reach there le den found out its under renovation.. damn.. shld hav called n check last nite.. hehe.. anyways.. that pig also havnt come.. so juz tell her to meet at our next destination lor.. decide to go parkway de kbox.. thats the next nearest de liao... den flor + ada + chyi + sm take cab.. den i ride on eddy's bike.. haha.. fun.. but weather so warm.. den also nv reach 120.. max also 100 nia.. haha.. den reach le.. went to yoshi to eat.. halfway den the pig come.. sick le still wan come.. piak.. after tt went to walk walk first.. coz wanna sing 2 to 7 de.. den walk walk walk.. hmm.. strange.. how come today so quiet.. that pig nv talk to me!!.. piak.. bought some drinks to kbox to drink.. haha.. den at there sing sing.. haha.. eddy so funny.. choose alot songs budden all dun wanna sing.. finally force him den he sing.. den hor.. normally talk so loud.. suddenly sing so soft.. so weird sia.. haha.. den SM also funny.. guy de part he sing.. girl de part he also sing.. oh my.. duno whether is a he or she.. =S .. hehe.. den chyi also.. when they all at there play play den me n chyi at there sing.. haha.. nice.. can be the next band liao.. ada at there admire till eyes big big.. haha.. den sing those canto songs wif ada.. so funny the cartoon de song.. haha.. den flor sing also nice nice.. voice unique.. but not bad.. =D.. den that pig.. haha.. when we sing the Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Li Ye.. omg.. nice.. haha.. juz one word to describe.. NICE~!!.. i like.. hehe.. =) .. 100% feel.. hehe.. den sing happy happy.. sing till going to 7 den leave.. ada n flor treat leh.. so gd.. coz they won 2nd place for the competition the other time.. so treat us now.. so gd.. den after tt eddy + sm ride motor home.. chyi + ada + flor take bus to bedok.. me send that zhu to orchard.. den chat chat talk talk on the way.. so weird.. i alwaz need to hide here hide there.. hehe.. anyway.. i feel contented.. =)

Sat 2nd Dec:
Yawnz~~ ... morning woke up at 7.. coz meeting eddy to do mp.. cos i nv go sch on thur.. den they did some things le ma.. so have to do.. hehe.. reach there le.. the avaya lab not open.. so kuku.. they open adnk lab for singtel ppl de lesson.. but nv open avaya lab.. den wait for the kuku lab tech to come down open.. he took a total of 20min to come down from 8th to 3rd floor.. =.=''' ... den finally got in le lor.. on thur eddy n sm did until the WAN link up le.. but juz that the new ip address still not registered yet.. haha.. den thanks to me ah.. i do only can work liao.. haha.. coz they nv forget to reset the machine to let the setting take effect.. now both sites also up le.. 4 ppl conference call over WAN also ok le.. means that we gt things to present next wk liao.. haha.. now is left wif the quality of service thing and one more which i duno wad kuku thing is that.. oh ya.. redundancy for the switch.. hav to simulate if one switch is down den how.. shld be ok la.. juz the QoS partquite traoublesome.. and alot documentation need to be done..den chyi came.. meeting eddy to do cmsk.. juz nice lab also closing le.. so kuku.. thay open late.. but nv close late.. so unfair de.. our project timing all depends on them.. hav to do during sch hours.. somemore cannot take home do.. if some event or things happen den cannot use the lab.. so no gd.. anyways.. went to opp sch to eat the wanton mee.. nice.. den eat mix vege rice also.. haha.. hungry hungry.. =P .. den eddy n chyi go to eddy hse to do proj liao.. left me.. so take bus home lor.. fall aslp on the way.. really too tired le.. hehe.. den reach home.. went to take my krave out for a ride.. coz need refil tyre.. den shun bian ride to esplande.. haha.. cos long time no go le.. hehe.. nice.. den went bball court to see see look look till 8pm lidat den go home.. hehe.. now very slppy le la.. going slp le.. nitez

off to nowhere

2006-11-29T21:40:00.000+08:00

i need to take some time off to clear some thots.. maybe a day or 2.. sorry.. =)

hurt

2006-11-29T19:55:00.000+08:00

hmm... been quite down these few days.. trying hard to keep up wif the smiles.. =) ... but.. in the end still cant overcome the painful feelings.. =( ... realise that whenever im hurt... theres nobody beside me.. not like u.. at least u still will have alot ppl to care for u.. there r things that i cant share wif everyone.. everytime i fall.. i fall flat on my face.. i got up.. and i fall again.. wad did i do wrong?... =( ... its not wrong to love a person... but theres everytime something pop up and say.. "Hey.. go away la.. she's mine"... happened a few times.. and i got nowhere to fall back to.. nvm.. i still accept it.. maybe some ppl are more possessive ba.. but i nv do anithing wrong.. why do they have to cheat on me.. pretending to be someone else and tell me stuff.. think.. if u r in my shoe.. how would u feel.. maybe u wunt ever have this feeling.. but i dun think u will like it too.. but i still accepted.. why cant i hav a chance to proof myself.. why dun u giv it a try... why cant i juz hav a simple relationship.. why do others hav to attack on me.. why cant i get an answer.. tell me why.. .. .. ='(

sick

2006-11-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

been sick for the past few days le.. since the start of the week.. have flu and cold.. but lucky not serious.. but last for a very long time.. till now still havnt recover yet.. haiyo.. saded.. duno is she influence me or i influence her.. in the end now we both oso sick.. took a few panadols and some herbal medicine.. but still no use.. hate it.. =(

feel so useless... even im juz beside her.. i cant do anithing to make her feel better.. so close.. yet so far.. all i can do now is juz sit there quietly and watch over her ba.. sorry.. coz i also dun have the right to do anything.. im oso not ur who.. kinda duno wad to do also.. see u sad.. see u sick.. yet cant do anithing.. feel so stress.. but at least he still gt call u.. den u feel better le.. =) .. listening to the song 'yong qi' by liang jing ru now.. really.. it needs alot of courage to love somebody.. but hey.. i not saying i will give up so easily now k.. i will wait for the day to come de.. =)

take care.. get well soon..

3 words

2006-11-20T22:36:00.000+08:00

ppl alwaz say that sickness cant spread to fools... but i can prove them wrong.. maybe is that person who is special? or issit that this tradition doesnt work on tt person? hmm... who knows? haha.. but anyways.. tt person so ke lian sia.. coz need to take care of cousins den end up sick.. but aiyo.. alwaz say know how to take care of urself n is very strong.. budden still sick.. den end up duno y i also sick... normally other ppl's sickness wunt spread to me de sia.. ... ... -.-''' ... tt makes 2 fools.. hey.. fools are happy ppl ok.. happy go lucky.. =D

hmm... everything takes time ba.. or maybe is ur harddrive not fast enough.. hehe.. but anyways.. if u r happy wif the situation now den its alrite.. try to feed back to me ba.. cos if not i oso wunt noe how u feel and stuff.. =)

3 words for u at the back of the seat on bus 88 upper deck right side about 5 rows from the back.. =P

missing in progress

2006-11-19T20:44:00.000+08:00

hehe.. been slacking at home for the week ends.. nv step out of my hse sia.. juz eat n eat n eat.. aiyo.. getting fatter n fatter le la.. haha.. why nv go out? .. hmm.. coz nobody ask me to? and also no place to go lor.. den why i nv ask ppl out? becos oso duno ask who to go out.. hehe.. everybody so busy.. so juz slack at home lor.. been watching the e zuo ju zhi wen for the past 2 days.. watch till epi 15 le.. still havnt finish yet.. hehe.. muz fasta watch finish.. den can reformat com le.. kanna virus so long le still havnt fix yet.. haiyo.. den still gt a korean show 'save the last dance for me'.. about the guy who lost the memory and stuff de.. also watch till half way.. havnt finish yet.. haha..

and hor.. omg.. today i go clean my room leh.. haha.. miracle sia.. and wash my shoes and blah.. stunned.. hehe.. i hardworking ok.. hehe.. so nxt time ppl come my hse anytime also can le.. hehe.. hmm.. nxt wk Sam would be going to Holland.. so left wif my poor sis here in sg.. he ask me to take care of her.. den in return he buy something nice for me.. wahaha.. yeah!.. =D

den 22nd Dec my mum n dad would be going to HK le.. left wif me and my sis.. and on the 27th my sis also will be going over to HK.. so wif me alone.. haiyo.. my mum returning on 1st Jan and sis returning on 7th.. hmm.. so left wif me alone from 27th Dec to 1st Jan.. wonder how to spend my xmas.. saded.. everybody also going out.. nobody ask me to go out.. maybe staying at home ba.. or see if anybody free tt day den go out lor.. =D.. but best is tt she is free to accompany me la.. hehe.. althou its like quite impossible.. =X ..

hmm.. she's been out to m'sia for the weekend.. maybe tts y i oso didnt go out ba.. lost motivation.. haha.. she going there wif her family n him.. go there shopping buy alot of stuff.. haha.. and wedding dinner also.. so weird de.. every month also gt wedding dinner.. haha.. hope she's having fun over there ba.. tml den can see here again le.. yeah.. think she will be quite tired tml ba.. somemore duno she's still sick anot.. =( .. anyway.. hope to see her soon!!

missing you!! =)

courage the cowardly me

2006-11-16T01:48:00.000+08:00

everytime i login to blogger.. i would juz close it after a few hours wif not a word being writen down.. juz dun hav the courage to voice out how i feel n stuff.. juz afraid to make any move.. say any word.. do any thing.. why? .. i duno.. juz got millions of thots and words to say.. but any wrong things i say may juz lead to an end.. i also duno wad i saying le la.. juz confused.. very.. pressure.. stress.. all i need is juz a chance.. a chance to prove to both u n me that this can work out de.. but still.. he still has a place inside ur heart.. wonder when will tt be me inside.. =) .. im someone thats easily jealous de ba.. and shld i say im juz very simple.. seeing u close wif someone else is not really tt nice ba.. but.. having the thot that u r happy wif tt person.. all i can do is juz keep quiet and hope tt u r really happy ba.. =)

you may try to convince me to giv up or stuff.. but.. wad can i do? u shld understand how i feel.. juz let me be stubborn for the first time ba.. =) ..

51213143344

virus attack!!

2006-11-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

ahhh!!!.. both my lappy and com kanna virus ah.. happy new year pull my ear la.. =S .. damn sian.. have to reformat both my lappy and com.. I DUN WAN!!... den everything gone le.. no more songs and games.. =(

fats! fats! and more FATS!!.. ahhh.. from small fatty last time become a bamboo stick now become pig again liao la.. ahaha.. keep eating n eating n eating.. and im still feeling hungry.. omg.. stress.. napfa coming up in a week's time.. go in army early liao la.. also gd thing.. haha.. free food free training free sleeping place.. somemore is being paid to do all these.. wahaha..

oh man.. basketball is really not for me le sia.. deproved until like shit.. having difficulties even against those xiao dis.. run for about 5 to 10min already cant catch my breath liao.. haha.. old man.. age also starting wif 2x liao.. -.-''' .. play the DC till so lousy.. haha..no more tanglin carinhill also.. enough liao.. hehe.. =P

thats all.. no mood.. =)

JELLY!!!

2006-11-11T18:51:00.000+08:00

hehe.. 6.45pm now.. writing this blog at her hse.. hehe.. damn kuku la.. haha.. muz say something first.. today she say somebody's name become 'JELLY' cos at first wanna say journal + _ _ _ _.. den combine become JELLY... -.-''' ... lolx.. den very funny la today.. laugh till pengz.. hehe.. hope can everyday be lidat.. =) ... best wishes..

The Departure

2006-10-09T18:23:00.000+08:00

wahaha.. sianzed~~

Departing: 10th Oct [Tue] 1545HR
Destination: Hong Kong
Returning: 16th Oct [Mon] 2350HR

------------------------------------

flying back to HK tml afternoon.. gotta collect my HK de IC.. yup.. im still a PR in HK.. is so dumb.. dun feel like going in any sense.. but bo bian.. blah blah blah.. mum's long story again.. wad nxt time go back no need so mafan.. bla bla.. can find job easier.. bla bla.. oh wadeva makes her happy la.. -.-''' ...

been 3 yrs since i last visit.. or even longer.. now.. 3 yrs later.. returning to HK means... hav to go thru all those dumbo people's relation thingy wif grandparents and relatives or who-so-ever tt use to noe me.. tts wad i dun like.. troublesome stuff.. bo bian.. cos staying at grandma hse for the week.. if not hav to go on budget for accommodation le..

travelling to HK wif BP.. at first thinking of going there myself to juz get the thing done and be back in 3 days time.. but tt would be so lame.. comparing ticket price for 3 days which is $304 and for 6 days which is $312.. of coz is take the 6 days trip..

and wads come to worst is that.. this lousy trip is so sudden can?.. i wasnt really prepared to go on a trip all of a sudden.. alot of my schedules had been scraped.. alot things cant be done now.. is so damn the sian can.. it WAS been planned.. but canceled due to low popularity.. and tt is when i already decide not to go and thus my spendings all went to other stuffs.. THEN this lousy trip appear.. left wif not much $$ to go.. and my sis say i stupid to go there wif so lil $$.. is like wth lor.. is also not my fault.. next is the dumbo napfa.. juz nice after i return from HK.. 2 days intensive training.. if not den see me in toa payoh stadium every wednesday 7am ba..

i really wonder how m i gonna survive the week.. gotta prepare for those damn documents and shyts.. and hav to get in contact wif relatives to visit the folks.. gotta prepare for trips for the whole week to bring tt arse to tour ard.. and shopping list and blah.. wonder how i gonna carry the stuffs back here..

and the complaints go on and on and on and on..... sianzed + sianzed x sianzed to the power of sianzed.. no pt to complaint now.. air tix booked.. documents ready.. everything waiting for tml to come..

its so fking sian when they treat me like small kids.. wanting to to try out on my own yet afraid of me going alone.. whos fault issit to blame.. freaking hell.. if they so afraid then shldnt hav get me back in the first place.. when i gt no intension to get the IC or whatsoever shit it is.. they like it they can go all they wan.. sometimes really wish that i can nv see them again.. go to a place where nobody know me.. and get on wif my life.. i wun wanna depend on anybody.. nor anybody depend on me.. good or bad.. who cares? is my life.. thats how i wanna live it.. dun like it? mega bite me.. to hell wif ya.. peace out..

----------------------------------------------

my life.. let this be the start of my new life..

been offered to go for an interview at bossini down at bugis.. shld be working PT from since i return from HK till even sch starts.. sounds promising.. EXCEPT for any UNEXPECTED SUDDEN SITUATION if they were to arise.. work shift shld be from evening 6pm till stall close..

been offered a freelancing job to do those html shyt.. tedious work.. but own time own target.. managing time would be gd to handle the job during week ends.. or free time..

free time? lame thing is tt the sch make it free for us on every wed for us to do our MP.. and i really doubt so.. considering my group member and also those unexpected shyts.. so i guess will hav to get on wif MP during the free time of the free times.

dumbo BBDC.. fail me for my braking subject and low speed control.. travelling at 70km/h while at a bend.. cool eh.. lesson not cheap la.. already got the last session which is 9.50pm till 11pm.. for 50 bucks.. is so damn dumb la.. anyone can tell me? where to get these extra time and money?

CCNA silly bus.. damn cool la.. try to get a CCNA cert during this sem b4 going in to NS.. and after coming out get a CCNP.. sounds perfect.. but when actually doing it.. its not so easy.. gotta go thru my sch work and stuff and borrow from the damn library who says i still got an outstanding loan debt of $1.80 when i didnt even borrow any books from them.. dumbo library system..

while going thru all this shyts.. realise wunt be having much time wif my Krave..maybe only once or twice a week.. or even at nite den we can come out for some romentico time.. dumbo.. still finding where the hell sells those grease.. and a chain stay would be gd.. and if theres extra $$ maybe considering to replace the v-brake and the original disc brake which is bent when it first arrive to a pair of new disc brakes.. wonder if the BB (bottom bracket) is rusted.. cos theres trembling and noise when pedalling.. and also seat bracket.. and needa change the chain and cassette to shimano compatible ones.. till then.. can i go up to bukit timah.. not forgetting the front lights.. it will light up like a christmas tree.. =)

few days ago while down at bball court to shoot some balls.. holy shyt la.. totally forgotten how to play.. my steps are funny.. my hands are weird.. and accuracy fail.. damn cool.. been left out.. but not forgotten.. training if i got time.. (the keyword is alwaz "IF")...

--------------------------------------

Future...

2006-10-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

The future has not been seen by me, heard by me nor has it been set by me.

where do u see urself...

1 yr down the road:
age 21
poly education

-meanwhile-
part-time job

---------------------------------

2 yrs down the road:
age 22
obtain diploma
enlist into NS

-meanwhile-
save up

---------------------------------

4 yrs down the road:
age 24
ORD
self improvement [[ courses/experties ]]
dual job [[ part-time + freelancer -or- part-time x2 ]]

-meanwhile-
in-search for local Uni/Institutes

-plus point-
driving license

---------------------------------

5 yrs down the road:
age 25
dual job [[ obtain 2 yrs of working experience ]]
self improvement

-meanwhile-
in-search for full time job

---------------------------------

6 yrs down the road:
age 26

hopefully:
full time job
move house
4 wheels
1 babe
=)

---------------------------------

** Planning and critical thinking skills r not plus points but r mandatory skills to succeed.
** Setting goals/aims to bring oneself to a next higher stage
** Look forward to hav a better view of how ur future will be like
** Look backward to rmb ur own footstep n those shyts that u stepped on as not to relapse again
** Sometimes in order to achieve something, one has to sacrifice something of equal value, theres no such thing as a free lunch
** These r the things that people alwaz overlook

The future, is said to be planned by me.

Lemon Tree

2006-10-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fastI'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

Disappearing act

2006-09-06T13:15:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

**
seriously i duno wad to write..
**

Case1:
change of job of bballing to riding..

[[ Progress - /////// - 50% ]]

Case2:
gone..
disappeared..
MIA..

..until..

..u..

..found..

..me..

..cos..

..i..

..believe..

...

bastardized

2006-08-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

woohoo...

once again.. we had been bastardised..

budden.. aiya.. also a fact la..
we r losers.. so wad.. yeah.. we lose.. u happy..
go announce to the whole world lor..

::: LOSE A FRIENDLY MATCH REDHILL GARDENS RC vs HENDERSON CSC 56-19 :::

WEEEEE~~!!
we r losers and we r happy..
so wad can u do to me?
beat me la.. call police la.. tell me mum la..

wahahahahahahahaha~~!!
who cares man..

--------------------------------------------------------------------

wahahaha..
and once again.. my life is DAMN-ED
oh well.. hu's gonna giv a fk about it man..
nobody cares of my life anyway..

ohhhhh...
splited personality..
or issit multiple??
hmm...
wadeva makes u happy man..
althou im not..

oh well.. life goes on..
keep on the smile will ya.. =D
ehh bebe u r such a loser, man

career-wise: no idea of wad my future will be like..
study-wise: god damn it.. u think i still gt the mood for books n notes?
bball-wise: need to elaborate more on it?
life-wise: get a life will ya..
luv-wise: the clock is still ticking.. the earth is still spinning.. and im still waiting..

weeee~!
in short..
my life is F-U-C-K-E-D
and its so colourful
WooHoo!!
congratulations to me la..
celebration all nite long..
free flow of sorrow n despair..

------------------------------------------------------

who am i actually?
whats my purpose in life actually?

when i happy i smile
when i sad i smile
when i angry i smile
when i sleepy i smile
when i fall i smile
when im bastadised i smile
when i noe i gt no future i smile
when i kanna some fk-ing skin prob i smile
when my last last finger is swollen till like sausage i smile
when my mum object me to cycling i smile
when i was forced to take up course alone i smile
when my bday is damned i smile
when my godsis scold me for not celebrating for her bday due to my illness i smile
when my bday i get 0 present i smile
when i took 2 hrs to walk from boon keng to hougang i smile
when i was being cheated on a date for a job interview i smile
when i waited for a half a month plus juz to get a message i smile
when i noe i gonna wait somemore i smile
when i noe the whole world is going against me i smile
when i noe im keeping myself away from the world i smile
when i dun wanna hear voices i smile
when i hav to endure 3.5 mths in the damn company i smile
when i noe the boss look down on me i smile
when i noe im such a loser i smile

weeee...
so many smiles..
im sucha happy person.. =D
SmileS

HUAT CAI AH!

2006-08-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

HUAT CAI LAH!!
2 MORE WORKING DAYS TO GO!!
woohoo!!

wah lao eh.. the more i see the CAN the more tulan i get.. nabuey..
jitau pai ce him lor.. is see liao also wanna whack ppl tt type lor..
everyday see him already sian jit pua liao..
lucky only left 2 days.. he last day better watch out.. haha..
pa pa pa.. pa hor li si.. song boh..

haha.. dun care about that CAN liao la.. haiya.. damn sian.. nowadays duno y like got so much things to do.. i oso duno y i so stress.. haha.. like alwaz giving myself things to do.. omg cai.. hmm.. currently in a kinda confused state ba..

ok.. first issue comes into my mind.. her... hehe.. yea.. it sound very childish ya.. but its lidat ma.. so wad can i do sia.. haiyo.. actually kinda scared of meeting her.. and also hearing wad she gonna say.. hmm.. duno.. but as times by the feeling is like.. haha.. duno how to say.. =P .. anyways.. she still remember to wish me on my bday.. and thats really already enough to make my day a happy one le.. hehe.. thanks!

and also to those of u who wished me.. wanna say a big thank u to u guys.. haha.. =D

hmm.. kinda alot of memories ba.. 1 thing that my fren pointed out to me.. maybe due to previous incidents happened.. thats y im so afraid to celebrate bday ba.. hehe.. ya hor.. didnt really thot of the possibility.. haha.. anyway who realli cares.. memories.. left only bits n pieces.. didnt really matters le ba.. juz live life to the fullest ba.. take a deep breath.. tml will be a better day.. =D

------------------------------

nb la.. suddenly dun hav the mood to blog liao.. duno y these days when i wanna concentrate to do something theres sure alot of things to disturb me de leh.. jiatau is sian half de lor.. nxt time muz cut off all communication den do work liao.. now i now why she alwaz not online.. becoz im of a disturbance to her too.. =.='''

adios

=)

2006-08-01T15:16:00.000+08:00

let me off.. dun ask.. thanks

LIEW!!!

2006-07-26T19:06:00.000+08:00

oh man.. so tiring.. haha.. stupid SIP.. now den start to hav work to do.. wahahaha.. strongest liao la.. become my supervisor's left hand man.. haha.. tiring.. but fun.. hahaha..

the supervisor will wan me to reach office at 10am and den start work rather den asking the CAN hu reach office at 9am to work.. haha.. and nowadays the super oso only look for me to do the work.. haha.. think he oso start to notice liao la..

juz like today lidat..
my boss send me this...:

Jagan

Pls go to all site and label the master switch with IP

eg 135.27.14.2

1. please label where it is easy to see.
2. label them straight.
3. if it is stacked, then only 1 IP address. but 2 different IP if 2 different stacks.
4. if there is a standalone switch, please hyperterm and check IP and then label switch eg #02-01-Old cajun switch 135.27.6.8
5. remove old labels if any

Siu Wai

Pls install visio if you dont have and ask Jerry for the s/w

Then update this diagram. As it is very outdated since all the offices are running 1 IP address back.

1. Use straight joining lines
2. use correct pictures, if u do not have it, ask me.
3. make diagram comprehensive and easy to read
4. put in port number labelling (port 7 denotes that 14.2 edge switch is attached to it)

eg

dclan sw1 ---------------------------------------------- 14.2 switch
[7]

Thanks!
collin

...............................................

ya.. basically is asking the CAN to juz go label those damn switches.. and ask me to go draw the diagrams.. i spend the whole morning tracing every ports of 2 switches.. to map out the cables.. and the CAN brought his lappy to use for console in.. at first i tot is ok.. till about 12+ lidat he den come back ask me how to do... is really like WTH lor... i told him le.. but he say he wan go for lunch liao.. HELL... i dun even hav my lunch lor.. work the whole day.. in office eat cookies only..

den i go to all the sites to trace to the end switches.. and u noe wad... theres not even a label on any switch.. i at there is like.. WTF is he doing sia.. spend the whole morning + afternoon and he did nothing.. and i cant continue my work becoz he havnt label the switch.. damn him la.. i took his lappy n do it myself.. check the IP den dump the lappy back to him le la.. tot he will noe how to do liao..

den i continue doing my work.. at a time my super ask me go help him troubleshoot some prob wif the IP phones.. and went there solve the prob le.. den go to that place de server room to see.. and the switch is still not labeled lor.. and the ones that is labeled is wrong de somemore.. KNS lor.. damn la.. super tell me to do it myself tml..

went back IT department.. continue wif my work.. cos super like gave me a few tasks to do liao.. den he ask the CAN for help.. ask him wad the adapters r for.. cos revamping the whole network wif new equipments.. and i noe he sure Good Game de liao.. but i dun really care.. go tea break.. 5 min ltr come back le den see how.. expected.. no work done.. till the CAN n super ask me wad the parts r for..

really damn jialat lor.. i was like doing 2 ppl's work at the same time.. he wunt even bother to ask me.. i dun mind he stay one corner n keep quiet + shut off his aircon.. but juz dun get in my way la.. damn u.. hav to clear up ur mess everytime.. and he will juz alwaz act busy follow me around so super see liao wunt say him.. KNS lor.. tie his hands n legs throw into the river ah..

F OFF!!!

done wif it

2006-07-23T04:23:00.000+08:00

stop pouring my life wif more n more sorrows..
if all these r a test for me.. i wunt give up

becos..

i believe in you...
i believe in myself...

conditioned amnesia..
relapses of bits n pieces of memories..
will i find the cure 1 day..

wad is my purpose in life...
think i lost it somewhere on the way..

who will understand me..
who still understand me..
am i all alone
or issit i wanna be alone

i wunt stop anyone from leaving..
so please do the same..
if i were to leave 1 day...

i cant giv my 100% to anybody..
dun be surprised if im not there for days
cos tts how i work..

but..
to you..
i noe i can....
my luv my 1 and only baby

I believe in you

2006-07-13T17:13:00.000+08:00

I believe in you.

Down

2006-07-05T12:20:00.000+08:00

Down

I counldn't believe it
Tell me I'm dreaming
That we are still "we"
It was amazing
Said you were lucky
That you found me

It was on a rainy day that we met
You didn't have a place to go
I said we just met so lets go slow but no
You just told me to keep you from the cold
Sorry I can't take it
Why did you fake it
Why did we kiss

And I'm just down
You left me with a note without a sound
I figure I must stop being such a child
You'll never know how much I've been around
How my heart just frowns
If you're down
I'll be your teddy bear I'll be your clown
I'll take you round and round
And if you don't mind I could be your standing ground
Even if that means I'd drown

I said we just met so lets go slow but no
You just told me to keep you from the cold
Sorry I can't take it
Why did you fake it
Why did we kiss

And I'm just down
You left me with a note without a sound
I figure I must stop being such a child
You'll never know how much I've been around
How my heart just frowns
If you're down
I'll be your teddy bear I'll be your clown
I'll take you round and round
And if you don't mind I could be your standing ground
Even if that means I'd drown

And baby that would be my one last vow

taking a step forward

2006-06-19T17:36:00.000+08:00

yessa!! Finally.. away from all these craps.. for juz awhile thou..
disappeared for a day.. total communication cut off.. and juz dun care about anithing.. woohoo~~!!

and now.. getting ready for the challenges up ahead..

firstly..
omgoodness.. is the Tanglin Cairnhill CSC again.. recruiting players for open category bball.. haha.. kinda dun really feel like going for it again since last yrs experience.. but nonetheless.. bp n ty join and they juz put my name down too.. -_-''' haha.. oo...kk.... thats great... -_-'' haha.. k la.. juz go along wif them lor.. try my best to see how much i improved since last yr..

1st runner-up..
taking up taekwondo at henderson cc there.. supposedly already joined it yrs back.. but juz tt my fren suddenly back out.. so leave me no choice.. now ch n his fren oso joinning.. haha.. i oso duno.. he's kinda irritating at times thou.. but oh well.. juz go for the TKD and not to see his face ya.. =P

2nd runner-up..
i think my hybrid bike can go for hibernation for the time being liao la.. haha.. didnt really hav the time to go ride.. and also thinking of getting a pure road/MTB bike nxt yr.. depending on whether is there any new model.. the bike shop uncle there intro me to a MTB.. not that bad.. $249.. is consider cheap.. compared to my hybrid now which maintenace is already over $200 in total.. juz the stupid wheels cost me $100+.. -_-''' .. anyway shld be keeping it as well instead of scrapping it.. so can inter change parts.. muahaha..

3rd runner-up
haiyoyo.. juz thot of something while browsing thru he web.. HK trip.. and now is like everyone is starting to back out.. weiiii... fake me de.. dun care le la.. at most i go myself or see hu so lucky can get sponsored by me.. =x.. haha.. budden.. tot of would be needing a creditcard or something juz incase.. hmm.. need to gather more info first.. and also those travel agencies.. hotel rate.. currency.. flight schedule.. bla bla bla.. getting bz..

last..
omg.. haha.. happiez.. wahhaha.. she actually still havnt forget about wad she promised last xmas.. hehe.. hmm.. and she even ask me to go travel to taiwan wif her next yr.. LOL... happiez x10.. hmm.. i will be gd these coming yr de.. hehe.. ^^v

Adios~

what the toooot

2006-06-16T17:01:00.000+08:00

suddenly gt the kick to blog.. haha.. lots and lots of things happened during these days.. dun really noe how to start.. or did I remember every single thing in detail.. but I will juz blog it down bit by bit.. dun really hav much thots for those who r watching this entry now.. I will juz crap everything outta my mind..

DuLan-ed

"Hey! Can u all move to somewhere else cos we wan to use the court to play 3-3.. this is stackers' territory.. " Well said, by J.. name shall not be mentioned..for the past few yrs or so.. we hav been being kicked ard like a soccer ball.. doesn't mean that they r the official team.. they can hav the rights to shoo us off.. wifout even saying please or thanks.. they r really getting outta hand.. even the T-Net club incharge.. Sir N.. take no action against them even thou our complains.. few yrs back.. when all of us were still noobs.. why did we tried so hard to get them into the team.. and in return this wad we get from them.. despise.. look-down.. ignorance.. we didnt do anything wrong.. and we didnt even treat them in the way they treat us.. shooing us off.. backstabbing us.. even SH.. ever since she's joined them and now became the captain.. her attitude is totally changed.. when they r having training and shoo us off.. that's fine.. nv say a word of 'please' or 'thanks'.. thats also fine.. shooing us off not on their day of training but juz for their own leisure.. and dun even hav the courtesy to move away from our view when we are watching bball match.. thats NOT fine.. retribution will come..

Friends or Fiends
"we are all friends.. lets all work hard together."
When u said this.. do u really mean it? Or did u meant to say 'Fiends' instead of 'Friends'? no idea.. but I seriously doubt that a 'Friend' will gossip about another 'Friend'.. having to choose our MP grouping is kinda not easy ya noe.. these so called 'Friends' when choosing their group mates tends to take the best solution out to fom the group.. that's fine.. but do u still consider urself as somebody's 'Friend' if u were to say bad about them behind their back..

"I dun wanna work wif him.. cos I scared that he will not do work and pull down my result.."
"its MP that we r talking over here.. sure everybody wanna hav a better result.."
"all his fault la.. he is the virus.."
"the other groups also dun wan him.. that's y we hav to regroup.."
"the group will not be strong enough wif him in the group.."
"all becos of him that's y make things so difficult.."

what do u all think if the 'HIM' was referring to u? how will u feel when u heard this? How will u feel if after everything is over den u get to know about these? Do u think u will still consider them as 'Friends'? does the result really that important to u? even more important than the so called 'Friendship'? do u all think that he dun wanna get good results? Are u all denying the rights for him to work hard to prove u all wrong? Stop.. Take a step back.. Stand in the other person's position.. Feel..

Perseverance.. patience.. endurance..
"I would like to lodge a complain about my SIP partner as he is not doing his work. He is showing poor work attitude and does not take pride in his work. Although it is just an internship program, I don't think he has the capability to work in the environment. I am not denying his rights to learn and experience, but it's the attitude that he is showcasing that upsets me. Example: he didn't bother to check his work. I basically have to double check and redo everything that he had done for him. Even thou I pointed out to him that what he is doing is incorrect and showed him the correct way of doing, the next moment he can do it the wrong way again. Not being resourceful enough, he keep questioning me or the supervisor for more tasks and solutions to solve problems that he face without trying to find out the answer himself and in the mean time while I was redoing his work and thus time is crucial for me to keep up with the pace. From what I see, his working attitude would be "Once I'm done with the job, I wouldn't be bothered about it anymore." Seldom did he do his journal as he basically copied my journal to update for himself. I did write reports on the things that I have done or learnt and I have it as prove in word documents. And also, I have to do all the clean up work after him like clearing the empty shipping boxes, which is blocking the pathway and coiling up the cable after use. My work desk is basically littered with empty plastic bags the day I came back after my leave. And after countless reminders, I still have to be careful of him using the penknife, as he didn't even bother to slide the blade back into the holder after use. When I asked him to pass to me the penknife, he would slide out the blade and pass it to me with the blade pointing at me, which could cause serious injuries to me and also other staffs. Please kindly look into this matter and take necessary actions. Thank you."

This is what I supposedly wanna email to the LO and supervisor. He's really getting on my nerves.. and juz 2 days ago I walked out from the office and took leave the next day after dulan-ing him.. but I didnt send the email. Thot of giving him 1 last chance.. like wad I said in the email not denying the rights for him to learn.. and also.. I know the sch nor the supervisor will not take any action against him.. cos the school system is also kinda cock up.. no point in wasting my time to send a pointless email.. sick n tired of all the crap that he is giving.. I oso dun care much of him now.. been buying my own lunch earlier in the morning everyday now at 7-11.. cup noodles.. so I can hav some 'peaceful time' alone during lunch.. in order to buy lunch I tend to wake up and go of earlier.. also save more money.. $1.85 for lunch daily compare to $4.50 in the past.. also can help me jian fei.. den oso can hav more time to my work after my lunch as I noe he sure take his own sweet time to make full use of the 1 hr.. den during that time I can hav some casual chat wif the ppl in the office to noe more of them.. 1 cup noodle kill 6 birds.. kinda happy wif the new arrangement now.. part of it only that is.. still waiting for 11th august.. when I can say "F OFF" to that bugger and he can eat my fist..

10yrs.. friendships nv die?
Issit? or issit that "TIME" really changes a lot of things? As time goes by.. so does the ppl's attitude.. some of them is totally changed.. some slower.. some faster.. but wateva it is.. nothing is the same again..

BP
So called to be my gay partner la.. not the brokeback mountain that type la.. more of like brother type ba.. maybe im alwaz spending time wif him.. thats y dont really see much of a change in him.. know him since pri 5.. thats about 9 years already.. kinda get to be closer only when we all start to play bball tgt.. going thru ups and downs tgt.. and I dun really hav much secrets btw him.. haha.. basically can share everything under the sun.. can see that he changed to the better.. after he met MY.. 9 yrs and counting.. yea babe..

TY
Another bro of mine.. also been 9 yrs of friendship and get to know him better during bball life.. and truly.. he is one hell of a bro when u need him.. lets go do selective whacking of banglahs during xmas eve.. woohoo.. can see a great change in him.. he may look as if he's juz a normal guy u see on street.. but is one wif a difficult background.. ok.. sometimes may be a cheap bastard too.. haha.. but hu's not.. is in our blood to be cheap.. he's cheap or im cheap? it's the same thing.. dun be so cheap..

RAY
Lemonade? Hoho.. thats wad I use to say during pri sch.. "Raymond leh?" another great bro.. but also left wif a lot of problems being unsaid.. and also the first to broke the "RECORD" among us.. that record la.. bp hor.. haha.. also now become my sensei at biking.. fun during nite ride and stealing those aircaps from sports car at nite.. and sleeping at carpark rooftop in the middle of the nite.. haha.. but even that.. he's not the ray that we used to know since pri sch le.. but wadeva it is.. rock on dude..

TS
Another bro since pri sch.. but didnt hav much communication now le.. problems been pushing him off the cliff.. but we will still b there to hold him back.. luckily.. and also unluckily.. means that our wallet will burn a hole each time.. -_-.. now that I learnt.. mahjong is good for ur mind.. wif us around the mahjong table is alwaz full house.. haha.. we still havnt complete our 24 rounds tournament yet leh.. see u on the table..

CH
Ok.. he is a cheap bastard.. really.. becoming more n more hei an.. turning to the dark side.. -_- .. but overall is still a gd guy..

CHYI
Another bro.. or maybe going to be real bro soon.. hoho.. but.. in fact I dun really know him tt well compare to those sick muttons above.. -_-'''.. cant really see much of a change in him.. cos he dun really tell his emotions.. but dun kay kay la.. haha.. cheap bastard.. even he know he oso wunt tell u one.. know him since pri 3.. till now had gone thru countless encounters.. kinda can communicate even wifout words.. and those lame jokes.. nxt time muscle man..

ADA
Lei ho ma? Sei zai bao is here.. hehe.. get to know this pro since poly.. everything so pro.. mai siao siao.. foreign talent leh.. HK rulz.. but dun really noe much of the past about her.. but can share things wif her also.. haha.. still remember those times when im down and call her.. but now ah.. haha.. too bz to call somebody liao la.. hoho.. duck han gei duck wen ngor yum cha ar

FLOR
Hehe.. cute friend of mine.. but always so stress and alwaz sick de.. haiyo.. den same as ada.. know her since poly start de.. for only these 2 yrs plus.. she's alwaz been our da jie of the group leh.. haha.. everybody oso need to listen to her advice de.. one for all and all for one.. learn how to relax abit ba.. but not too slack oso.. -.- .. and nxt sem onwards can go bedok to queue up for bus again le.. haha..

ELLE
Hmm.. wad shld I say? Can say is somebody that cause me to make a lot of changes ba.. and also somebody that I see changes to the better after so many incidents.. things arent the same as b4 le.. let all be left as memories..

SM + EDDY
Woohoo.. get to noe these 2 dudes in poly life.. but aint really close to them.. and juz get to noe them better during year 2 when we r in the same class.. k la.. they may look abit pai kia.. budden they r good at heart.. and sometimes very lame.. our grp alwaz filled with laughters wif them ard.. during this yr or so I learn a lot from them too.. if only theres more time.. maybe we can be great frenz..

MEL
Hmm.. get to noe this crazy lil ger since yr 2.. but quite stunned that she noe me since yr 1.. sorry ah.. didnt really go notice about other ppl de.. from wad I see la.. she's still as cheerful as alwaz even thou it's the opposite inside her heart.. abit of changes here and there during these times.. oso somebody that can share ur probs wif.. althou she herself gt a lot of probs.. -_- .. get to slp early k.. late nites are bad..

SP
This ger here ah.. haha.. also dun really noe how I get to noe her de.. think is thru friendster ba.. very chatty.. and alwaz come disturb ppl.. jk la.. sometimes can be quite moody ba.. but is still as cheerful to brighten up ur day.. get to noe her since yr 2 also.. and alwaz get to see her especially at bugis.. -.-''' .. and I can become ur personal styling consultant le.. alwaz ask for comments for dressing.. den hor.. we can set up a server for ppl to download songs liao.. alwaz gt songs to share de.. hehe.. rock on babe..

PL
Get to noe her during orientation and im her assistant for her group.. maybe is jus a coincident that I get to noe her ba.. when I jus appear at the wrong time at the wrong place.. since den its already a month plus le ba.. a lot of things happened.. juz hope that time can heal everything.. we r still frenz.. =)

VON
This one ah.. is my da jie da.. get to noe her during OL camp.. my grp mate and also my night walk partner.. really the greatest jie that I ever had.. ok.. didnt really hav any other da jies also.. -_- .. anywayz.. another troubled ger.. alwaz finding ppl to listen to her sorrow and getting comments or feedbacks.. 1 of the most impt ppl that made changes in my life too.. after all those lectures and scoldings and pinching of my nose.. sorry that im such a useless didi ah.. but hey.. I will alwaz be listening to u de k.. althou sometimes ur lectures can take up almost 70% of my free time.. haha.. dun be too numb.. or u may miss out somebody hu is ard u all the time.. feel..

SIYING
Dr Tan SY.. noe this ger during OL camp also.. but b4 that since yr 2 had been seeing her ard the sch.. and also during some events.. but she didnt notice that I spoke to her last time.. can say is kinda blur ba.. =x .. ok la.. cos she also very stressed up wif stuff and so on.. 90% of life sucks.. but still gt that 10% of happiness ard u too.. duno y alwaz like to chat wif her when im down.. nv fails to cheer me up again.. and she kinda crappy also.. oh ya.. she really look like 1 of my fren.. who will be mentioned ltr.. haha.. sad that I oso will be leaving after nxt sem le.. if not I think we can also become great frenz le.. my fan club wunt lose to urs de ok.. u still owe me $17,500 and counting.. pay or wait for my lawyer's letter.. hehe

JOSSIE + SI JIE + SERENA + ISABELLE
Get to noe these babes during OL oso.. great frenz I shld say.. and also alwaz there to support me when im down.. bits and pieces of my moral support.. if only I hav more time.. and hor.. serena.. u really look like 1 of my fren lor.. ltr will get to mention also.. 24 jun.. dun forget.. see u den.. haha.. jossie ah.. already a term had past le.. but the book is still here.. I carrying it everyday wif me.. haha.. and u say u will accompany me some other day de.. and also my bubble tea.. I still waiting for tt.. haha.. si jie.. wahaha.. stay cute as ever k.. thanks for all the care n concern.. isabelle too.. thanks for alwaz asking me how am I le.. dun alwaz so stress k.. rest more.. haha.. u all muz take good care k.. hope can make full use of nxt sem to spend more time wif u all.. hehe..

Class 4B/2001
Ok.. this is not my class actually.. but to me is like im already part of the class le.. last time during sec sch I will alwaz go look for them during recess time.. a bunch of fun n loving ppl.. sometimes kinda envy them to be so happy everyday.. carefree ppl.. haha.. see u all ard.. peace out..

KRIS & KRYS
Noe these 2 siao char bo thru my god sis.. 1 in sec4 1 in sec1.. at first is like not much to say de oso.. budden get to noe them more liao hor.. wah lau.. si funny de lor.. jitau cai.. especially krys ah.. last time alwaz like shy shy type see me duno run till 10 meters away.. now hor.. is jitau noisy de lor.. so much things to say n comment about.. haha.. and hor kris ah.. heyoyo.. wassup.. long time nv suan the sbs bus driver in sch liao.. si can suan till high qi lai de lor.. den their hse also like chalet lidat.. very freestyle de.. so gd.. haha.. and alwaz I slp till like 'an fa xian chang' lidat.. really brought a lot of joy n laughter into my life.. gt time go ur chalet slack again.. haha.. adios..

RACHELLE
Noe this ger thru krys n kris.. their cousin ma.. duh.. den also like to play bball.. and hor I still own her bdae present lor.. omg.. paiseh ah.. so long liao.. will get it for u soon de la.. haha.. soon la hor.. den is also like krys lidat alwaz shy shy de.. budden when noe her more liao den is different case liao lor.. hehe.. also a fun loving ger and good to chat wif.. and still remember they 3 coming to my hse to bai nian when im all alone during CNY.. hehe.. hope to see u soon k.. cheers

MINYI
BOO!! Jocelyn if u ever see this.. this is the ger that I say look alike of u.. haha.. agreed by my fren TY.. get to noe this ger thru BP lor.. of cos la.. somebody's lao po ma.. 1 yr already.. muz stay 4eva ya.. haha.. also somebody hu will cheers me up.. ok.. sometimes in quite a lame way.. but also somebody hu alwaz keep her prob and dun show them out.. a great fren also.. hehe.. hope to go sing k again soon.. yeeeeeyayyyyy!!

HUIQI
Noe this ger ger here when playing bball de.. alwaz call me 'BE xiao mei'.. haiyoz.. but is also somebody that really noe how to care for other ppl.. made a great impact in me too.. somethings nv change.. luckily.. still as cheerful as ever.. smile.. =D

JUAN
Hmm.. how shld I say.. kinda complicated ba.. noe this ger here since sec1.. and at first is those kinda frenz that I seldom tok to.. and is also somebody till now im still guilty over about ba.. having a lot of changes in my life and also her life.. she is someone that will be there when u need somebody to tok to.. fun loving ger.. and chatty at times.. -_- .. maybe fate is playing tricks ba.. the story is twisted 180 degree.. feelings.. personality.. but luckily.. glad that we are still frenz.. althou I noe ive been letting u down a lot of times.. and those scars.. will become memories.. hehe.. im still waiting to see those kittens..

GWEN + WL + MARC
Woot.. a bunch of crazy frenz.. noe them during yr1 in poly thru arts appreciation.. great frenz alwaz having laughters and jokes.. everything started with the lame jokes that WL tell us.. haha.. miss those times when we r having rehearsal and those performances.. but sad to say.. cant see them in sch anymore.. but hey.. we r still keeping in touch ya.. hope to meet up soon..

EVELYN + PERLINE + MADELINE + XY
Wow.. this ppl here ah.. all jokers ah.. haha.. get to noe them during ALP and I duno y become their incharge.. and they start calling me 'Lao Da'.. -_- .. they r super duper frenly and fun to hang out wif.. keep in touch..

YUMEI
Heh.. noe this ger since pri 3.. but I cant really remember ba.. poor memory.. same class as me for the 4 years in pri sch.. still use to remember she's our grp leader leh.. and duno y having this deep impression of the last day of sch when out form teacher telling each of us her last words of wisdoms and at that moment she cried.. and I sitting behind throw to her a packet of tissue paper.. -_- .. haha.. duno whether she remember anot.. can say is one of the first few friends that I ever noe since I came to SG ba.. and is still keeping in touch till now for 10 years.. ever since get into different sec sch le.. den start to lose contact.. but fortunately still be able to see each other during class gatherings and stuff.. another memorable moment would be during new year time after my o level.. and we went to the JBox near my area for class gathering and also sing K.. and that jacket she wore.. im still wearing it everyday.. and also the song by Jay Chou - Qing Tian.. at first dun really listen to his songs de.. but ever since u ask me to sing that song for u when chatting on msn.. -_-.. I start to listen to his songs.. and is really nice.. one more thing.. ur voice oso very nice ya noe.. shld go for sg idol.. haha.. but I still wan my pizza.. been years u owe me that.. and oso the movie treat with popcorn.. and also the xmas n vday thingy.. and the present.. hur hur.. heh.. hope to go out for class gathering again soon.. still remember the times when I appear at ur work place and I called u when u were standing right behind me.. -_-.. still as cheerful as ever.. its been 2 and half years since 'that'.. hmm.. and I wanna belief in 'that'.. cheers.. =D

Stuck in the middle..
"Have I done the right thing?" im still asking myself this qn.. after leaving the police station.. still pondering over the things that HE said and SHE said.. question.. "will u kill a person that u really love?" and "will u die for a person that u really love?".. why does the word 'love' makes so much of an impact to ppl's life and their thinking? From a talented and wif bright future guy turned into a hatred and despair filled guy.. is this call 'love'? B lost everything becos of this so called 'love'.. lost his job.. lost his restaurant.. everything.. to his 'love'.. MZ.. on the other hand.. juz take as it come.. his restaurant.. his money.. everything.. 20 panadols in 5 min is nothing.. is the process of washing the stomach after that that hurts.. its not easy to talk a person out of suicide.. and its not easy to talk a person into listening n feel how others feel.. I wonder.. is love more important or ur future more important? And it leads on to qns after qns.. bla bla bla.. anyway.. the whole incident happened as B was MZ's ex.. and they were happily tgt.. once.. till a pt where B is willing to giv up everything for MZ.. even his career.. and he sold his restaurant for MZ putting her name under the contract n blah.. and they even registered at ROM.. at first he tot its settled.. but then comes the disaster when MZ suddenly break wif him.. B lost everything.. love.. restaurant.. together wif his dream n career.. and I get to noe that cos once duno y I ever gt the chance to chat wif him when he added me in msn.. can say is my senior.. and I duno whether is the 20 panadols that's making him say things or did he really mean it.. "when I get the chance to see her again I sure gonna kill her.." .. things gt cooled.. persuade him to giv up on the thot of doing silly things to himself or others.. but not for long.. juz not long ago I met MZ.. and I tot at first she is juz saying jokingly.. "kor.. u accompany me go up to my hse.. gt ppl keep following me.." its B.. I noe is him from those fotos I saw.. but I dun think he noe hu I am.. cos I nv show him any pic of me.. and ever since after tt nite's chat I'd nv say a word to him.. and he definitely looked pissed off.. and she tried pulling me.. and from the strength she pulling I noe is not a joke.. but he juz come closing in on us and MZ juz continue walking off wifout me liao.. I was at the bball court back den.. and something is definitely not right over here.. cos once he said he's the head of some gang.. and after he came out after a few yrs he gav up on the gang and becos of MZ he started up the restaurant.. and juz reminded me of the things he said about killing her.. quickly rushed up to her hse.. nobody's there.. and when I called they were still at void deck and heard those screaming sound when he snatching the hp from MZ.. basically I juz ran down from 15 floor in less den 30sec even I juz sprain my ankle few days ago.. =.= .. found them.. called.. ask MZ to walk to the nearest police post which is juz next to my hse there.. while I keep following behind them n not letting him see me.. cos I seriously felt some hostility from him wif his expression.. reach there and police take over.. end of story? I duno.. cos if really everything's out.. both will be at fault.. B can be charged for assaulting / stalking her or wad so ever.. and MZ may be charged for cheating in marriage.. but nonetheless.. is over.. for now.. when im stuck in the middle..

Cold arrow shooter
If u all were those loyal reader of my blog.. which I dun think will hav much or any.. den maybe u all shld noe about the Anonymous that hav been tagging nonsense over at my tag board.. been stopped for quite awhile since that.. but now is reappearing.. whoever it is.. is really damn childish.. I dunno who hav I offended.. but if u r not happy wif me.. juz come straight at me tell me in my face.. dun hav to get others involved.. and pls.. be a man.. dare to say dare to admit.. I dun like ppl saying bad about my frenz.. I dun like ppl shooting cold arrows at me.. I dun like ppl say bad things and dun dare to admit.. and what I hate more than all this.. is the ANONYMOUS person..

SIP == Stoning In Progress
SIP is so damn fun.. everyday is juz stoning.. and I already stoned for 8 weeks.. half way thru SIP le.. and I hope that the stoning will end soon.. everything is ruined.. all thanks to my SIP partner..

My Life.. Myself.. My world..
Thru the darkest moments in life.. I understooded a lot of things.. nobody will ever come for ur help de.. cry out till tears dried and shout out till voice lost and its juz of no use.. how much do u all noe about me? How much do u all understand about me? How much do u all feel for me? Not just me.. but to others ard u as well.. did u really tried to understand n touch on their world they r in? see the world that they see? Feel the pain that they take? .. communication.. simplest and easiest way to understand others.. ask urselves.. do u like to hear critics or praises? But how many times had u every said words of praise to others? Wad comes ard goes ard.. if u can get hold of the 'key' to inside of a person's heart den its much easier to communicate wif each other.. not saying that critics and not gd.. but truthful critics.. things that normally not please to hear.. r normally things that r most truthful to u.. stop living inside a fake world.. carrying that fake smile everyday.. saying all those fake stuff.. get real..

[[8 pages or word document spending 8 hrs in total carrying 4,900+ words of crap.. heh.. im juz saying wad i wanna say.. happy or not.. i dun really care.. ]]

Adios~

apologies

2006-06-12T10:45:00.000+08:00

To Pranee:
I hereby apologise to you for the things that i hav said that hurts you..

"Sorry" is not the word to use since what said is said..
but still..

truly I am..

sorry

answer me

2006-06-08T16:16:00.000+08:00

-I solemnly declare that I am up to no good-

Been falling down lower and lower by the days.. soon will be reaching basement 18 le.. but still.. I cant even see a glimpse of light.. what is it that has been pushing me down n pressing me flat to the ground.. I wait.. still waiting.. and waited.. where is the me that will help myself whenever im down.. im down n I cant help myself.. thanks to my 300% patience.. I cant even feel anything.. anymore.. y is everything getting so annoying in this everlasting chain of vengeance.. hatred.. sadness.. despair.. that is all that I can feel around me.. currently experiencing another stage of evolutionary changes in my life.. good or bad.. does it really matter? Who will be concerned about it? Issit true that the more individuals feel isolated.. the more people keep the silent? How come a human can be both: beautiful and ugly.. good and evil? Is imagination stronger den knowledge? Which one can be more deceitful, the legend or the history? Can the hope alwaz beat up to the experience? Can smile really be the only cure for sorrow? Is love truly stronger than death? Answer me... ... once.. endless questions without any answers start, that is when autumn has stolen up on me.

Dead Declaration

2006-05-28T21:22:00.000+08:00

i got no place to go.. nowhere to hide..

theres an invisible barrier around me..

pressure is building up on me..

annoyance is pushing me off the edge..

were u all leaving me?

or am i leaving u all?

i wunt stop anyone from leaving..

so do the same if i were to leave..

i got nothing more to say..

Today, Leung Siu Wai is dead.