Friday, December 29, 2006

lemon tree

sometimes i really wonder.. wads the point of me writing all these shyt here when it doesnt even hav a meaning or purpose.. does anybody really care about wad i write here? care about how i feel? care about anything? damn freaking sick man.. alwaz thinking of these things and juz have to keep them to myself.. wads the point of me announcing to everybody? wad can they do? wad gd will it bring? telling everyone about ur sad stories.. oh save it man.. already lost hope in everything.. damn sian.. everything happen so fast.. my life is in black n white now.. everyday doing the same thing over n over again.. when im back at home facing the 4 walls talking to myself.. demoralizing.. hello.. anybody hear me? well.. doesnt really matter who heard me or hurt me.. juz wanna die.. even if im gone i dun think no body will noe.. nor maybe nobody even cares.. yes.. will.. be in grief.. for a while.. and things will be normal after awhile.. please.. im 20.. not 2 years old kid.. please stop treating me like some dumb shyt arse kids.. do anyone really noe me? do you? do I? ... alwaz on the losing side.. wad else can i do? trying to keep up wif the freaking smile n silly acts infront of everyone.. nobody really see the reverse side of it.. see me thru a mirror.. the smile is actually inverted.. well at least i get some peace this xmas by spending it alone.. rather den like last year.. which i dun wanna mention anymore.. but the images is still flashing thru my mind.. who can help me to forget? brainwash me.. please.. or juz kill me.. thanks.. when ppl r in love.. they dun seem to care about other things other den their loved ones.. 3 yrs.. wad did i get? why did i spend so much time n effort? i may not wan anithing in return.. but... argh.. fcuk it la.. i noe im not with words.. but who can really listen to me? without any words said...? who is really there when i need someone? why? why? why? wads happening to me??? simply becos im feeling sad.. angry.. depressed.. suicidal.. moodless.. tired.. numb.. silly.. or wadeva shit la.. even so.. who cares?.. maybe nobody see wad im typing here now.. nor maybe this is juz another blog that appear on the internet with no meaning.. juz toking crap.. juz toking out the heart of a 20 year old alive-but-dead guy.. i dun really see the me that im used to be.. everyday.. everynite.. every minute.. every now n then.. im thinking of how u r doing.. will u be sick? did u take ur medicine? had enough rest? remember to eat ur meals? happy? sad? wan somebody to talk to? are u really happy together with him? ... money cant solve probs.. if a prob can be solved by money den its not even a prob.. i may not be rich.. i may not be able to afford expensive gifts to make u happy nor bring u to any high class hotel or restaurant or bring u go on a trip to oversea.. wad i only have is a true heart.. happiness is not something money can buy.. gifts i can make.. probs we can solve together.. even something very very simple can be very very unique n special.. i noe theres somebody who is able to take care of u.. using his life to protect u.. gives u 100% attention alwaz.. will remind u to take ur medicine.. watch over u while u r asleep.. starve himself if u dun take ur meals.. tell u silly jokes and laugh the hell out with you.. lend a shoulder for u to lean on when ur sad.. answer ur call even in the middle of the nite during the wee hours if u cant get to slp.. will alwaz be there for you.. alwaz trust you.. alwaz believe in you.. alwaz love u.. go ni ichi.. ichi san ichi yon.. san san yon yon.. =)

Posted by BeBe at 11:03 PM

Thursday, December 28, 2006

ENDUREEE!!!

The

=(

Behind

The

=)

Posted by BeBe at 10:46 PM

pistachio!

BEBE PISTACHIO~!!
BEST BEFORE: DEC 2106

INGREDIENT: 100% PURE BEBE, NO PRESERVATIVES

CONSUME MORE FOR MERRIER FEELING
BEST SERVED WHILE STILL AVAILABLE

Posted by BeBe at 12:28 AM

Friday, December 22, 2006

i flew

10pm

medium drizzle

off to east coast

way back home

esplanade

below nicoll highway

speed up

jump

and flew

but

skid land

track mark

4 meters

throw out of bike

ouch

Posted by BeBe at 11:56 PM

Sunday, December 17, 2006

TAMIYA~!

weee~~~!! Krave is out again.. =D ... after rotting for a month plus now.. finally out!! wahaha.. ray ask me for a slow ride wif his Norco this afternoon.. where to? seletar? macrichie? haha.. cracy.. in the end juz our same old meeting pt.. esplanade.. saw a few riders on the way there.. and i lost my left glove on the way!!! damn.. nvm la.. mostly i use right glove.. and maybe getting a new pair soon ba.. =) .. must have dropped it while taking out my hp.. =( ..

den off to esplanade... stupid nite riders.. keep on tempting me the nite b4 when i was there.. dun care liaoo.. today my turn.. haha.. den juz nice saw bp wif his NeoRider.. so sad.. he gonna sell NR away.. and getting a new bike in a few days time maybe.. =) .. went to kallang.. ride a long way.. saw those canoeing girls.. haha.. den reach indoor stadium.. saw the guy.. sold his bike.. and we r getting free flow of drinks and slurpee.. haha... the stupid ah neh at the 7-11 oso dun care de.. i buy 1 cup slurpee and basically i drink 1 and a half cup.. haha.. ray more zai la.. buy 1 Gulp for 1.30 and drink for 2 cups.. somemore get refill for his waterbottle.. =D .. shuang dao~~ ...

den is off to slacking time.. find some stairs nearby.. beside a bistro or something.. den try out stunts.. haha.. bp practice on his jumping skills with accuracy.. and i still tryin out my wheelie.. haha.. damn la.. duno who the hell they do the hops.. Krave is heavy.. and im even more heavy.. =.=''' ... WAH RAO... i wanna get rear disc brake.. roar!! .. jumping off a 4 steps stairs with perfect landing... haha.. 10/10.. thanks ah.. =D .. ray still cant quite make it thru yet.. the back wheel still hit the last step.. haha.. nvm.. shall practice more.. =D .. stoppie.. wheelie.. oh my.. i still cant get my stoppie yet.. Grrr... alwaz my feet will land first.. haiyo.. shall practice more..

den is time to go.. bp gonna take bus home liao.. haha.. saded..den me n ray make our way back to esplanade.. saw some band doing sound testing over there.. must be some event thinggy.. den 2 kuku rider suddenly dash past us.. tsk tsk.. nv die b4.. me n ray hop on and chase liao la.. haha.. from esplanade chase till clark quay.. juz nice can try out those jumps.. down the stairs.. drift thru corners.. den one of the kuku crash into the bush.. haha.. they seem to be ard our age.. still wanna play wif us.. haha.. first check pt.. opposite mirama hotel.. jump off a 2 step stairs just next to the river.. high speed cornering.. oh damn.. remind me of getting a motor bike again.. haha.. =D .. den is off to ho swee.. den down to henderson liao.. by then the 2 kuku already duno disappear till where le.. went to buy lemon tea to drink.. slack around.. go park and play.. den EHH!! the 2 kuku reappear again at opposite tiong bahru park.. hahahaha.. after we do all those den they catch up.. hehe.. dun wanna chase liao la.. chase from esplanade till tiong bahru liao.. bored.. hehe.. i think whole journet only took 10min or so excluding traffic light waiting time.. haha..

den time to go home.. reach home.. bath.. makan.. den is off to town liao.. wif ray n bp again.. haha.. too bad ty juz got back from town.. so he not coming.. town is damn crowded la.. stupid xmas thinggy.. first went to opp far east there to look at some stuff.. den is off to ps.. took us an hour or so to walk there.. sianz~.. ice cream uncle damn zai la.. so crowded yet will can drive a motor thru the crowd.. power.. but is quite nice la.. so much deco.. the lighting also nice.. and the ppl wear those costumes.. den saw the islamic ppl.. den LOL la.. thot they r those actor also.. haha.. pengz~ .. overall is nice.. except for the crowd.. =D ..

den reach ps.. went to carrefour to 'shop'.. haha.. erm.. think is play ba.. haha.. damn bo liao la.. went round to see see look look things.. den went to the ice cream section there to play the ice cream.. like small kids lidat.. haha.. nice leh the ice cream.. got alot.. at there laugh till pengz.. den stack the hagen daz ice cream till so high.. even taller den me.. stack liao fast fast run away.. haha.. wah lao.. den went to basement.. on the way down keep playing wif the potato chips.. throw here throw there.. haha.. oooo.. den reach the toy section liao.. LOL... remind us of our childhood.. =D.. wah lao.. nowadays kids r so xin fu.. the toys so nice.. so gd to play.. haha.. jealous liao.. den went to play around .. those stupid plastic sword.. chase for a few lanes to play.. -.-''' crazy peeps..

den saw something.. TAMIYA~!!! ... hahahaha... my god.. wah lao lor.. kids now de Tamiya so nice.. where got like us last time de.. haha.. den we each bought 1.. treat as xmas present for everyone.. haha..at first thot can RC (remote control) de.. budden the module is sole seperately.. duno where to buy.. somemore quite kuku.. haha.. den wanna go chinatown some day to buy the tracks for the Tamiya to run.. haha.. mad liao.. den saw a 6-men tent.. EHH~~.. 20 bucks only leh.. is so damn cheap compare to those outside la.. haha.. buy.. maybe someday went out to camp at east coast or ubin.. haha.. or maybe can setup Tamiya tracks inside the tent.. haha..

still play around the carrefour.. so damn fun.. haha.. play till 10.30 lidat den go off.. damn.. no more shuttle bus.. haha.. have to walk across to take bus home.. den EHH~~.. juz realise.. we lidat stack the ice cream till so high... THEY WILL MELT!!... haha.. still thinking of how much money they lose.. so bad la.. hehe.. den damn paiseh la.. 19 20 yrs old liao carrying a Tamiya.. haha.. somemore the bus so crowded.. everyone look at our Tamiya.. haha.. dun care.. juz carry and show everybody.. lolx.. den saw a girl.. is ray workplace there de ppl.. quite dao.. think she nv saw ray or juz pretent didnt see.. or maybe cos ray wear a cap den didnt see.. -.-'' wadeva la.. haha.. den the 2 of them kuku la.. start to open up the Tamiya box and yan jiu yan jiu.. haha.. my gods.. duno them... =D ... den reach home.. start to 'dao' the Tamiya.. till 2.30 lidat den finish.. stress.. but nice la.. hehe.. den ray keep complaining.. EHH~~ why the engine dun sound like integra?? =( .. disappointing... haha.. pengz..

today is a fun day.. =)

Posted by BeBe at 3:00 AM

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Sorry

im sorry.. but no matter wad happens.. no worries.. theres still me.. still here.. alwaz here.. =)

Posted by BeBe at 11:41 AM

Monday, December 04, 2006

Sunday

3rd Dec Sunday

hm.. yawnz.. cannot be pig alwaz sleep till so late.. hehe.. woke up at 10 lidat.. den she also juz wake up n online.. haha.. she still at his hse.. been at there for the past week liao.. haiz.. nvm.. understand.. den today she got jap lesson.. but still havnt study.. ask her go study.. alwaz say orh orh orh.. den in the end went to watch tv.. haiyo.. piak.. only about to go lesson den go read.. hehe.. juz like wad i alwaz do.. =P .. hope can pass la.. hehe.. den she went for lesson.. i whole day at home.. ask ray n bp for a ride.. but they either no time or flew my aeroplane.. roar!!.. nvm.. at home do my own things.. cleaning my bike.. gonna rust liao.. need to clean n try n put a layer of oil to prevent rusting.. hehe.. den was thinking about wad to do for xmas.. sis will only be gone on 27th.. duno about 24th.. =( .. suppose she will come stay de.. haiz.. shall see how.. saded.. den xmas day.. melissa ask me to go watch a play.. first time ask me out leh.. hehe.. ok lor.. but if can choose.. i rather go out wif her.. =)

12am le.. Happy 20th Birthday Serena!! wahaha.. finally also 20 liao.. yeah.. same as me liao.. old liao.. hahaha.. =D.. wish all ur dreams will come true! cheers!

Posted by BeBe at 7:31 AM

Saturday, December 02, 2006

long weekend

woohoo.. lets recap on wads happened these few days..

Thurs 30th Nov:
hmm.. reach home in the morning 7am.. the nite b4 went to meet pl and only left at 3am.. reach my hse area at 4+ den to found out the gate is locked from inside.. dun wanna ring up everybody in the house juz to get myself in.. went to central de 24hr mac to slp.. lucky got bring jacket.. but still the aircon is freezing cold.. hmm.. good way to clear my thot.. brain-freeze.. !!! ... hmm.. basically slp the whole day.. reach home 7am slp till 6pm.. haha.. still wanna slp more de.. but hungry.. didnt eat anything ever since dinner the previous nite.. haha.. anyway.. that nite i also slp till like a pig.. =D

Fri 1st Dec:
hmm.. been discussing about where to go today coz these 2 days we dun hav lesson.. shuang dao!.. haha.. supposingly we r going kbox ytd de.. budden no mood.. somemore everybody suddenly not free.. so in the end nv go.. so today they decide to go.. meet 1030am at pasir ris terminal.. going Loyang point de party world.. took bus.. reach there le den found out its under renovation.. damn.. shld hav called n check last nite.. hehe.. anyways.. that pig also havnt come.. so juz tell her to meet at our next destination lor.. decide to go parkway de kbox.. thats the next nearest de liao... den flor + ada + chyi + sm take cab.. den i ride on eddy's bike.. haha.. fun.. but weather so warm.. den also nv reach 120.. max also 100 nia.. haha.. den reach le.. went to yoshi to eat.. halfway den the pig come.. sick le still wan come.. piak.. after tt went to walk walk first.. coz wanna sing 2 to 7 de.. den walk walk walk.. hmm.. strange.. how come today so quiet.. that pig nv talk to me!!.. piak.. bought some drinks to kbox to drink.. haha.. den at there sing sing.. haha.. eddy so funny.. choose alot songs budden all dun wanna sing.. finally force him den he sing.. den hor.. normally talk so loud.. suddenly sing so soft.. so weird sia.. haha.. den SM also funny.. guy de part he sing.. girl de part he also sing.. oh my.. duno whether is a he or she.. =S .. hehe.. den chyi also.. when they all at there play play den me n chyi at there sing.. haha.. nice.. can be the next band liao.. ada at there admire till eyes big big.. haha.. den sing those canto songs wif ada.. so funny the cartoon de song.. haha.. den flor sing also nice nice.. voice unique.. but not bad.. =D.. den that pig.. haha.. when we sing the Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Li Ye.. omg.. nice.. haha.. juz one word to describe.. NICE~!!.. i like.. hehe.. =) .. 100% feel.. hehe.. den sing happy happy.. sing till going to 7 den leave.. ada n flor treat leh.. so gd.. coz they won 2nd place for the competition the other time.. so treat us now.. so gd.. den after tt eddy + sm ride motor home.. chyi + ada + flor take bus to bedok.. me send that zhu to orchard.. den chat chat talk talk on the way.. so weird.. i alwaz need to hide here hide there.. hehe.. anyway.. i feel contented.. =)

Sat 2nd Dec:
Yawnz~~ ... morning woke up at 7.. coz meeting eddy to do mp.. cos i nv go sch on thur.. den they did some things le ma.. so have to do.. hehe.. reach there le.. the avaya lab not open.. so kuku.. they open adnk lab for singtel ppl de lesson.. but nv open avaya lab.. den wait for the kuku lab tech to come down open.. he took a total of 20min to come down from 8th to 3rd floor.. =.=''' ... den finally got in le lor.. on thur eddy n sm did until the WAN link up le.. but juz that the new ip address still not registered yet.. haha.. den thanks to me ah.. i do only can work liao.. haha.. coz they nv forget to reset the machine to let the setting take effect.. now both sites also up le.. 4 ppl conference call over WAN also ok le.. means that we gt things to present next wk liao.. haha.. now is left wif the quality of service thing and one more which i duno wad kuku thing is that.. oh ya.. redundancy for the switch.. hav to simulate if one switch is down den how.. shld be ok la.. juz the QoS partquite traoublesome.. and alot documentation need to be done..den chyi came.. meeting eddy to do cmsk.. juz nice lab also closing le.. so kuku.. thay open late.. but nv close late.. so unfair de.. our project timing all depends on them.. hav to do during sch hours.. somemore cannot take home do.. if some event or things happen den cannot use the lab.. so no gd.. anyways.. went to opp sch to eat the wanton mee.. nice.. den eat mix vege rice also.. haha.. hungry hungry.. =P .. den eddy n chyi go to eddy hse to do proj liao.. left me.. so take bus home lor.. fall aslp on the way.. really too tired le.. hehe.. den reach home.. went to take my krave out for a ride.. coz need refil tyre.. den shun bian ride to esplande.. haha.. cos long time no go le.. hehe.. nice.. den went bball court to see see look look till 8pm lidat den go home.. hehe.. now very slppy le la.. going slp le.. nitez