Tuesday, February 13, 2007
broken heart
slow slow Slow SLOW~!!!
how slow can i get any further?!?
haiz...
juz alot alot n alot of thots running thru my mind..
firstly.. really hav to say a big big SORRY to princess.. for wad happened back then.. i noe u dun like ppl say sorry after they already did something.. but juz feel sorry to make u feel bad.. haiz.. thot thru alot of things.. but im those kinda person tt dun learn their lesson until its too late de ba.. tried to control.. but juz seem hard.. but i shld learn it this time.. learn it the hard way.. juz like u did.. it made me very hard to trust anyone anymore.. not even myself.. and im juz afraid to let go when i finally thot that i found my reliance.. i juz dun dare to trust anyone else...
how naive can i get... keep hanging on to the believe that someday.. u will return.. but.. maybe its a dream tt will nv come true ba.. maybe all the while it is this believe that keep me going ba.. but someday.. it may juz be gone.. and i.. juz lost my way... really very lost.. i duno wad i doing every now and then.. you gave me an identity.. that im someone worthwhile in this world.. its because of u tt portrait the image of me.. because of u.. i am who i am.. i feel alive... u would not allow any drop of tears to roll down from my cheek.. juz hav a sudden surge of guilt.. that wad i did for u is nv ever enough to repay ur love.. juz feel that im so useless.. maybe im juz a coward who only sees the good things but didnt appreciate all the background efforts ba.. i cant bear to leave u.. sorry.. i may juz break down any moment.. human alwaz only realise someone's importance when its near the time of losing someone.. im stubborn n selfish.. maybe for a month.. maybe a year or two.. maybe till im in my 30s or 40s.. maybe forever.. that i may still be unable to get over u.. nv had i been so serious in love b4.. first in my lifetime.. that i really can entrust u wif my life.. im willing to giv up everything and anything juz to be wif u again..
been trying hard to keep up wif everyone's pace.. projs are pushing me off the edge.. parents are worried.. and i juz wanna feel better.. but its hard.. infront of u.. i juz broke down.. im juz like a small baby without the care of a mother.. like wad u said.. u juz hav to be beside me and i will feel much better.. but.. having the thot that it would juz be another heart piercing preparation to leave u later on.. i juz duno wad to do.. i juz went mad.. i noe i shldnt do it.. but i juz wanna find some comfort.. the feeling of heartbeat that i had nv felt before.. sometimes juz wish that u could bring my heart together wif u when u were to leave.. maybe i would feel better.. feeling that my heart is alwaz wif u.. .... ... and i broke down.. yet again..
Posted by BeBe at 1:49 AM