Friday, March 23, 2007
F
FUG~~~!!
everything juz went wild..
thots juz gone everywhere..
fug it.. damn..
shyt!
depression strikes again..
freaking hell~
wads the purpose of me holding everything back???
wads the purpose of me trying to divert all my attention???
wads the purpose of me dont wanna mention it anymore???
wads the purpose of me in life???
wads the purpose of me getting into deeper shyt???
wads the purpose of all these purpose??? when the truth is that... i cant get over anything..
FUG! FUG! FUG! FUG! FUG!
god damn me!
rain!
rain all u wan man~
wad the hell is wrong wif me?
is it wrong to juz find a way to make myself happier???
wad the hell am i arguing wif myself??
why the hell i hate the other half of me so much??
shyt~~
its a war zone down here i tell u~
wad m i feeling now???
wads this all about???
cant everything be juz settled once and for all???
cant my life juz be done wif once and for all???
why do the same things keep heppening over and over again n again till im dead Dead DEAD~!!
hear me scream!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sigh*
why
sick n tired of everything
a life wif no purpose
no meaning
everytime i found one
i would find my other half trying to take over me
i try to fight it
but im tired of trying anymore
maybe its me that needs to go to the mental hospital ba
i already duno wads right and wads wrong...
damn.. think im sick...
mentally..
am i?
well...
who cares anyway?
i try to scream out..
but no one hears me
i try to reach out..
but no one grabs me
wad do i get in the end?
SP..
no matter wad happens..
hang on to wad u hav..
dun end up like wad im now..
YM..
.................
im trying hard to believe
im trying hard to trust
mi not trying hard enough?
im sorry
to disappoint u..
and myself..
princess..
maybe..
our communication had already broken down le..
im sorry..
kulaa..
i duno..
i really duno anything..
-------------------
i ate gun powder for my meals
it juz keep accumulating..
at home..
when nobody its around..
it triggered..
and i juz went berserk
blaming..
cursing..
scolding..
all kinda shyt happens..
wad has this family come into conclusion..
i wonder..
this place that im staying in..
is juz another place for me to sleep in..
it seems to hav many things..
but it doesnt in reality..
hardly get to see my family like juz 3 to 4 hours a day..
even if i saw..
the first word that come out from my mouth wunt be something good
im sorry..
wad am i?
do i seem funny?
why had i become an entertainment for everyone?
juz push me out to die and u all juz laugh from behind
its ok man..
i shldve known better..
but i still went out to die for u all..
i respect u all..
unlike u all..
.......
damn me..
starting to blame on everything and anything again..
shyt!
looking back on the things ive done..
i was trying to be some one..
but now..
wad hav i turned into?
at this moment..
i felt i fought off the other half of me..
but i noe..
i will be back soon..
STOPPPPP~!!!!
i juz wanna stop..
stop everything...
stop my steps..
stop my breathing..
stop my heart beating..
fug the world man..
wad has this world come into...
its already beyond our imagination
everything is juz outta our control
everyone is juz slaves of destiny
we do wad we hav to do in order to survive
its a cruel world out there
everything tts been taught to children are juz plain bullshit
trying to blind them from the truth and reality
...
Adios~
Posted by BeBe at 8:28 PM