Sunday, March 18, 2007
yuan lai....
friday n sat went for work.. its so boring.. coz i noe nuts about accounting.. alwaz juz sit there do nothing.. do those filing stuff and cleaning office.. haiz.. juz feel so useless and out of place.. budden at least theres still somethings tt i look forward to work.. for $$ and to kill time ba.. coz if not working oso will be at home rot and waste $$.. oso get to start chatting wif Kulaa.. hehe.. fan ah fan ah.. so so so so fan.. sat is half day work.. can dress down too.. meaning no need formal.. still ok.. budden sadly Kulaa not working on sat.. and luckily neither is our supervisor.. at there help to do those filing n stuff.. only i sit at there to listen music..
den after work.. suppose wanna meet elle coz she not in good mood.. wanna go out play den cheer her up.. budden she say tired n sleepy.. haiyo.. so let her rest at home ba.. kinda worried.. i noe got things happened.. budden she dun wanna say.. haiz.. oso no use forcing.. when she feel like saying den i listen ba.. =) .. hmm.. so went to play bball.. coz uncle oso wanna play.. long time didnt ask him to play le.. coz he oso wunt be staying here for long.. going back to indo to buy house.. hehe.. got time shld go there play.. =) .. and also his present hav yet to giv him.. somethings really weird in this world de ba.. humans get along together.. it doesnt matter who they are.. but they juz enjoy each other's company n enjoy life together.. i noe this 'uncle' for like 3 yrs le ba.. alwaz play bball and chat together.. but till now i still duno his name.. funny huh.. if everyone is like this.. wif no hidden agenda.. there wunt be any conflict in the world le ba.. =) .. tired tired.. long time didnt exercise le.. since start of work.. no time to go jogging oso..
there comes stackers and their crap.. this time their coach say they book both courts for training.. wtf la.. as if they r the government lidat.. even the tnet club incharge oso dun care.. from far see us oso run off liao.. shyt.. nvm.. den saw tianyi.. she oso seldom come down de.. think becoz now she help to coach the boy's team ba.. coz today their first training.. so went to ask her to organise 5-5 friendly wif the guys.. cos juz now we r still playing together wif them before their training.. budden their coach dun wan.. everything he say de.. say wad training havnt end until 10pm.. and shyt they finish it at 9.. fine.. FINE~.. sian.. went home.. was wanting to go mac for some slacking session wif ym.. budden tired.. didnt go.. went to sleep at 11+..
zzz
suddenly woke up at 5am..
went outside living room sit at sofa..
went back to sleep..
woke up at 1pm.. saw all the msn msg n stuff.. and call back to elle.. drop my call 3 times.. sian half.. haiz.. nxt time call me if my msn didnt reply.. need ppl to wake me up from my sleep also.. if not i will be sleeping like a log till duno when liao.. den read her blog and stuff.. sian another half.. den she called.. finally.. chat on msn.. budden still wunt say anithing.. ok.. i noe she mood not gd again.. and those nicks she wrote.. i saw.. i thought.. i felt.. but maybe like wad she say.. our communication had broken down.. maybe i cant feel how she feel anymore.. but i juz wan her to feel better.. coz i was lidat too.. =) .. when theres nobody ard to cheer me up.. i juz went crazy.. no matter wad i do.. nobody care.. juz feel so hopeless.. love to an extend when it become hopeless.. i juz went HAHAHAHA... theres things tt i dun wanna say too.. things i juz kept to myself.. maybe like wad i said.. i did regreted.. and sad.. and angry.. with or without me.. problems are still there.. so why the F did i made tt decision at first.. it make me feel as thou my decision is for no gd reason.. i came and i leave.. it doesnt make any difference.. what am i? somebody trying to be there but as if im juz something extra.. im sorry to sound so harsh.. but did u think for me? u dun wan me to do things for ur sake.. but did u do things for ur sake too? u made decision.. ok.. fine.. but how would i feel? maybe its none of my business.. but i juz cant watch this any more.. sometimes i juz dun wanna care.. like wad u said dun look back.. but did u? did u??? dun ask ppl to do it b4 u did it.. yes.. nobody is perfect and everybody is selfish sometimes.. tell me how do ppl stay together if everyone is so selfish? sometimes i juz duno wad to say... seeing u lidat.. i can be selfish too and can juz heck care and pretend i didnt see or hear anithing.. but i cant.. juz the same for u.. wad if one day i juz fell and i cant stand up anymore.. wad if i met wif some freak accident someday and end up in hospital for life? wunt u hav even 1 bit of concern? if yes.. den i guess im juz wasting my time writing all this crap here..
sorry for sounding so harsh and fierce..
...
cheer up.. maybe its wad u alwaz wanted to be loved and pampered by him.. but.. theres alwaz 2 sides to 1 coin.. nothing is forever in this world.. this world has already exceed our imagination and expectation.. nothing is for certain de.. juz be so dumb so be so blind and hopelessly in love.. .. so dun say animore sorry le.. coz in the end the one who hurt the most is you.. seeing u lidat my heart oso ache.. somethings cant be forced.. but it doesnt stop u from trying to take the first step out.. everybody gotta learn to stand up on their own.. one day he may leave.. one day ur mummy may leave.. one day i may leave.. one day everybody will leave for certain.. its not anyone's duty to be there for u 24/7 to support u.. wad i can do is juz to guide u and let u learn.. maybe u dun wan.. but its a never changing fact.. i noe u r trying hard to try to take this all by urself.. keeping everything to urself.. and i oso got no rights to ask for anithing.. wad i can do is juz to be there for u.. =) .. alwaz the stubborn little princess that i noe of.. wads promised will alwaz stay the same..
Posted by BeBe at 3:59 PM