Saturday, May 19, 2007
help
sometimes i wonder.. do anyone really see wad im typing here? coz i cant really find any other ways to express how im feeling inside.. except juz to blast everything here.. im really lost.. can somebody come n guide me along? if not.. would anyone be juz so kind to end my miserable life so tt i dun hav to to thru all this.. i noe this sounds crazy.. maybe every reader is juz thinking that.. 'this emo kid is juz full of crap'.. nobody may believe in me.. and i dun expect anyone to believe in me.. but do i? i do.. actually.. would appreciate if ppl could believe in me.. but maybe im juz so insignificant in their life.. that doesnt make any difference..
20 years had past.. till now.. i still dun understand myself.. who am i? how can i expect others to understand me when i myself oso dun understand myself? i aint myself anymore.. i duno who am i anymore.. who can i talk to? who can tell me who im? i really freaking hate myself.. how crazy can i get any further? i slashed myself on my arm.. i ride a bike facing the opposite direction.. i juz wanna freaking get myself killed.. i juz hate myself so much.. disappointed.. in everything.. everything that everyone taught me since the cradle is bullshit.. i juz cant accept the truth.. its far beyond my imagination.. this world is juz too real for me to handle.. i wanna break free.. lost in words.. too abstract.. i juz dun wish to comment anymore..
all i wanna do is find a way back into love.. sometimes i juz wanna hav somebody besides juz to accompany me.. maybe come out get together to hav a drink and a little chat session.. or juz simply lay back n gaze at the stars.. im juz so disappointed.. in myself.. i juz dun dare to utter a word.. im a very straight forward person.. and i dun really like to keep things.. but as time past by.. the trust for others decreases.. and it soon formed a barrier between me and the others.. ppl that r once my gd frenz.. were long gone.. leaving us wif unsaid goodbyes.. soon forgotten and forgone.. nv did we see each other again..
shit.. mind blank in progress..
.. forget it.. dun feel like blogging liao.. continue some other time.. or get to me if anyone do care.. i juz wanna noe.. wad the f is happening to me..
Posted by BeBe at 1:33 AM