Friday, June 15, 2007

last word

from this point of moment.. 30 hours more.. its gonna be the day when its suppose to say a boy will change to be a man.. like.. whao.. really? im so impressed.. *clap clap*.. kinda dun really feel anything..

really..
nothing..


everyday juz like normal day past by.. wads the diff? theres no tension.. no excitement.. not hoping for anithing to happen.. juz feel so dumb.. wadeva man.. im alwaz dumb.. so juz be dumber..

2 yrs.. millions of things can happen within 2 yrs.. life could change.. ppl could change.. places could change.. everything could change.. and theres nothing that i can do about it.. maybe i wunt noe.. maybe i dun wanna noe.. maybe i would change too.. everything is juz too late.. part of me is looking forward to it.. and part of me is not..

1 word to describe my feelings now: SHIT
2 words to describe my mood now: BLOODY SHIT
3 words to describe my life now: BLOODY HELL SHIT

but i predict that it would be worse when im in.. but b4 going in.. i feel like im already in deep shit.. dun wish to elaborate more.. i aint gd at sharing things.. thanks to u all's care n concern and wad-so-eva pursuing a better life for ur child wanting them to hav the best in everything.. i aint some 10 yrs old freaking hell kid.. cant i jus hav a moment of peace.. i noe how u all feel but it juz aint gonna work.. anymore.. its too late.. im sorry too.. very..

misplace of trust.. again n again.. wake up my idea can i? wad the hell m i thinking of? knock some sense into my brain can i? i've been conned... am i? hav i just realised it? or what the hell am i thinking of? cool.. i just lost my mind.. i wanna trust.. yet im scared.. i trusted.. yet i stepped back.. im juz an easily contented small kid.. u treat me gd.. i will treat u like god.. yet its alwaz these gods that made me lost my confidence again n again.. but yet they treat me gd.. again.. i misplaced it..

come to think of it.. and from wad i can see.. i dun really hav much frenz actually.. im an angry young kid now ok.. wadeva shyt tt comes outta my mouth might hurt ya.. but i dun care.. tts my attitude.. nobody cares till its too late.. trying to salvage the aftermath.. wads the point? acting like a saint.. when i think everybody is juz insane.. promises are meant to be broken.. juz like rules are meant to be followed.. but laws are meant to be broken..

Guilty Conscience.. juz like having a million voices telling me to do different things at the same time.. which voice shld i listen to? there aint juz 1 or 2 voices.. but millions of them.. wad is the right thing? wad is the wrong thing? who defines wads right and wads wrong? theres alwaz an explanation for everything.. so how can anione define wad im doing is right or wrong? why issit right? why issit wrong? .. .. .. hell... crap toking..




Good bye, myself...

Posted by BeBe at 1:10 AM